Sergeant Pepper perused it and said, stroking his goatee, "I think I know. Jolly Roger may be the one who sent this. Blimey!" Jolly Roger was his schizophrenic uncle. Our address

Finding a booth to fit my cow catcher was difficult and more fuss than I expected. My date left somewhere between the Dairy Queen and Chan's Donuts.

spaghetti sauce, and the Rice a Roni alarm clock won’t stop until you bake it. Let’s just hope the water powered smoke alarm doesn’t go off with sprinkles again.

The mini eldritch things bobbed up and down in the air, almost looking serene as they somehow gained on her car. Even when she floored it, they managed to match her speed.

They fall into a wormhole; their tailing Thugs in tow. We witness each other's journey through a glass blown tunnel of smallish options. Careening cloud of kumquat custard, hex me!

Alfred had his fist clenched by his leg. This clown was stepping all over his last nerve with his clown shoes and his clown nose and his whole clown rat race minutia. The World did

to end all folds. "But nay," she told herself, "one must allow for alien divagations and downstream meanderings." She retorted to herself, "Hell, no. This fold ends now. The end."

, recalling nights spend on the street with only cement as a pillow. The rats would skitter over all of the ones rejected by society, all the ones with no place to belong to. Jim

the appeal. I have to admit I didn't. For the longest time I refused to eat fresh baked bread. People, and me, would say, "The heads at your feet are dead, might as well eat with

"Yet, you knew exactly what I was here to abridge you for. Clairvoyant or not, you've just admitted culpability for my clients being excluded from any story by taking up the fold.

but was given proscriptions instead. Knowing the Queen would not be happy about that and would most likely kill the messenger, her servant chose to steal away on a slow boat to

bite my finger or something to stop the vomit or something but what if that doesn't work well I mean it's not like anybody is going to see we were just nuked but I still can't tell

Press this button on the remote, to order from the newspaper kiosk if you want a discount on select papers please make sure your subscription is renewed, else select your paper.

Who even buys those? Not metal manufacturers, surely those are automated in some way. And there's surely no restaurants that use industrial sponges. Still, I was selling a meager

surprised to find a little remote sensor on the back of its ear. Foolishly, I tried to speak into it, but when I did it exploded in a puff of smoke and pyrotechnics.

my laptop screen with today's vomit painting. Since she's an infant i will have to name it for her. The green pea mash looks like something from Ivanhoe but in badly rendered Kodav

can imagine Matlock saying to the jury, "Oink, oink" and them eating it up. Why not both? You're seeing Matlock saying "Oink, oink" to the jury right now. So what if I'm a psycho?

cold & remote. As for me, I hadn't had any action in a while; a long while. Her attention had me wondering about the opportunities that were opening up with each mile we put behind

The lemons quickly averted their eyes, terrified. His tyranny was well known around the produce department. Once he scared a watermelon so bad it spit out it's own seeds, just by

As he didn't seem all that concern about it, I shucked it off and got back to finishing my business with this fount of wisdom that he wasn't. "Where is the dropped shoe now?" A pin