So I planted her one right on the kisser, and she turned around and kissed my planter. I always knew she loved it more than she loved me. "Herb, you're a drag," she drawled as she

shotgun (to make sure it was loaded), & the axe (to make sure it was sharper than a pile of rocks). While she was away, I opted to spit the ear, I had talked off her, into the pie

evidence against me piled up ever deeper and deeper. For instance that can of Tab soda with my DNA all over it when I hated Tab with a passion. I finally decided that the veil had

unseen thousands that had never been seen clean. Somehow, something always obscured the scene. Lemon argued that it was because you can't focus to the rear after being walked on.

with new lemon Pledge and poked it into my gums. The lemon made my blood taste like steak sauce and I but I didn't flinch. As the anesthesia took effect, I heard Dr. Krapschudte

to bring out the guillotine. The teacher judged each assignment, and anything less than an A would get the block. “Pathetic.” she whispered, as the blade sliced clean the sheaf of

Bernice, who had absolutely no talent whatsoever, but knew Diana Ross, and that was enough. So Bernice took the NEW Supremes on the road, where they were promptly run over by a

Motive and objective of these ludicrous game Ellie began to build a strategy and immediatly began adding bulletpoints to her resume, a hand so unbeatable she could taste victory...

Steal souvenirs of the film's lost props. Once the Titanic sank, everything and everyone was lost. The tiny toy boats were detailed reproductions of the original ship. The iceberg

Little children worldwide, sometimes sprinkled with cinnamon or drizzled with chocolate. Nabisco bought out Jesus Graham 's patent for £1,2 billion. That's the rest of the story!

want to move to Mexico but you remember a wall's in the way so you protest to your congresswo/man but s/he's busy investigating Trump so you download Beastie Boys' "We Got The"

was wrong with my gift of an angry beehive?! "I wrapped it twice!" He was angry and in pain. I suddenly remember him mentioning he was allergic to beestings. OMG! "Peanutbutter! We

-ed my Thesaurus and struck him about the head, but again the story changed tenses. Capt. Joseki threw a blinking space orange at Lt. Shoeglue, causing the ship to careen toward

Shagbark has been known to shrink basketballs down into golf balls, but also causes inversion of the banana, ahem, if you know what I mean. I would suggest oil of tea tree, but

in the ocean. Where micro plastics were rampant in the food chain under the top layers of a superheated tropical sun in the Bering Straits. Which are emerging again due to global

“I have eaten the flesh of Baby Jesus and it doesn’t pair well with your putrid tater salad.” She started spewing abomination after abomination until the throne was overflowing. A

Seven minutes in Heaven. Dabear's detractors accused him of selling indulgences. The majority of the sheeple bought billions of the tickets. Dabear make trillions of dollops from

Emmaline didn't twinkle with her nose if you get my drift, and Tabatha's golden goal would be avenged. But Emmaline's witching powers necessitated that she wear a kilt

walked in. "Oh my god- who knocked down the Christmas tree? Spot? Was it you?" Spot tried to convey that it was not him, but the fury snot animals that had done it, but his face

rst impression is the most important. I didn't know where these phrases were coming from nor why I was saying them. Was it the house coffee in this coffee house that had me spewing