The news anchor, Ken Swimsperm, was infatuated with Leviathan's colossal gustatory capacity, and found ways to work him into every report he delivered. "Here I am in no man's land,

helping the customer find the right outfit for him, just like at Marshall's. This entire seasonal ensemble only costs $59.99, but there's more! We also have beer cozies that Dad

I pooped in the koi pond behind his Azalea bushes. Over the next week, his koi began to die off, and I felt awful, but Mr. Kneifer deserved it, the dirty pinko peeping tom. From

"Will you cover me in Marmite and feed my trousers to your orangutan?" Soze knew she shouldn't have eaten all those oysters. "BARFBARFBARFART," she told the Queen of Canada. "BARFA

up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She

had a hell of a time at customer service. Next time, I would be sure to do my shopping at Marshall's, for the tasteful environment at affordable prices. Gifts for Father's Day were

customer at Marshall's, with brand new men's summer fashions fresh in stock. He could look good AND feel good this summer by taking advantage of Marshall's Midsummer Sale! And the

held out a palm for a quarter for the bus, but the man just backed out of the bathroom, out of the restaurant, out of the parking lot, and into the Marshall's across the street for

heard the radio start blaring music by Sonny Bonobo, she knew she had to give up the fight. If only she learned some gravity spells, she wouldn't have tripped over her magic wand.

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

Gregor. Gregor the talking tardigrade. He eats the dandruff from your eyebrows to help you see your way to a better tomorrow. He also screams the word "VAGINA" from time to time.

found to my dismay the school had been placed under lockdown for credit card fraud. As typical, the students are the ones to suffer here, and only three of us don't deserve it.

scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked

for lowercase letter of the year! Misa and Kumi each received a lowercase letter asking them if they'd heard anything from the manager since COVID. But SOMEONE must be footing the

The goat planet was dominated by the technologically advanced Nan civilization who had been on the cusp of space travel when the monkeys in spaceships appeared in orbit above them.

home base on Neptune that is the kind of things that happened. The Vibesphere was all abuzz over the newest generation of rejuvenation protocols. Fashion you, not your clothes. Of

ng topless at a Hooters along with a flash mob of gay men. Luckily I livefeed everything to three separate accounts on Vimeo just in case I get mugged (to this day I never have).

For some reason so many people don't know how to appreciate a good pair of stones. Pet rocks get lonely, you see. You've got to have two hefty, good-sized stones to be tender with.

"D.K. Donkey Kong. D.K. Donkey Kong is here. He's the leader of the bunch; you know him well. He's finally back to kick some tail." President Dummy sweat under his golden toupee.

She hissed right back at that clerk, "Well Time should've been more prudent!" She left the device as instructed, then fled the building, hoping McD's was still serving hashbrowns.