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your Mom. Anyway, as I was saying, as the seaweed casserole is baking, slice three igneous rocks into this ribbons with a laser, douse with kerosene and pepper liberally. This will
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began sharpening the butcher knife that Santa kept in his desk. Comet knew that Santa always kept it near, in the unlikely event that the reindeer would revolt. Rudolph's time was
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that his subordinate drug dealer was elbow deep inside at the moment. After cleaning the chunks of vomit from my keyboard, I continued the story of El Chapo's pride for smuggling
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It was the recipe for Jesus' waterwalking sandals, a Joseph patent original and family secret. He wagged his tail. As soon as he finished making himself a pair, he was going to
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and everything nice. But I the ingredient this dish really needed was revenge. I liked the blade of my knife.
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was stricken from the alphabet for its rude entendres. Alphabetti Spaghetti had to be recalled from store shelves. "None of this 'pee pee' business!" said Oprah Judy, dictator-for-
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Motivation was found dead in a pool of its own blood. The funny thing is, it can't really die by its own hands. Paradoxical suicide. It was murdered a la the Orient Express. Fading
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r, plastic as the day we bought him. Sparky was starting to look good to Cassandra. Cassandra was a Sim from The Sims, and redecorated other Sims' homes to ugly abominations. Ray
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of society howled their outrage for the discourteous gesture I made to whet the Craving. The Craving was the government body that catalogued every foul search on the Interwebs.
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Keheda was following Dehuai's footsteps in the Demon's Gate Invocation, so Yuri Volte Hyuga teamed up with Nicola Tesla and his plumber pigeon entourage to save Australia. "Ods
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hoarse by the time he hit grade school, but we were going for a nightcore sort of thing. Tom Brady-Evangeline and I were doing meth by age 6, like most millennial-boomer advocates,
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-stead of it's intended landing target on the plains of Titan. The astrocows smell brisket and realize their mistake just in time to over-ride the cowship's autopilot and land on
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with less misogynistic tendencies, and plowed it over some workmen who were hooting at Lolita's generous bottom just before she fell. Quilty was horrified as the magic carpet went
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skedaddled out of town. Skedaddling was still a thing back then. As luck would have it, I didn't skedaddle far enough. I ran into Wilbur & Orville in Kitty Hawk at the beach. They
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He felt the pull of the string at the back of his neck and heard a voice that was not his own, nor was it his client. Outside, perched on a trash can, a discarded Danny O'Day doll
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to know what to substitute all the sugar with in the Redwall cookbook. She could use egg whites for the eggs of course, but Mrs. Hedgehog couldn't remember if any recipe used them.
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talks to buy out DateSite, a dating website of all things. Schlomo grunted advice to fill out my profile: "My name is Davros, a 143-year-old man with a strong science background."
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"Who can insert the sharpest object into Eminem's ear canals?" Not that his ability to hear had ever come into play in his life before, as his career evidenced. We freed his prison
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True, I had dated other female carrots before, but my heart was no longer in it. And I had a pigeon in my stomach. I was not sure of the pigeon's sexual preferences, but by now, it
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"Come, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad tales of lost cub leaders," said Miles. "Five cubs, twelve directions," said Joe Merlot, the clocksmith's son. "The holy is not lost,