Bear Grylls climbed outside the box (it was a box ski lift, see...) and severed the connection to the cable. The ski lift box fell onto the icy slope and slid at a terrifying speed

take Ug’s fat gut and place it on donk. All caveman like woman with big round donk,” Nurg smiled a three-tooth grin, but Ug was offended, “Ug no like donks. Ug like nunga nungas.”

Suddenly the Horned One busted through the pearly gates with a spray of bullets, and lead the rest of the damned proudly into the halls, where they shat upon the golden tiles and

So that night I stole into the City of Giant Women and waved magnets over their keyboards, hope to de-res their machines. It didn't work, and only angered them. Griselda the Elder

, rivalled only by a lack of discipline, & her penchant for dancing the Watusi in the nude, made me confident I would score, but the game was young, & I was yet to reach 1st base.

, but at what cost to Punpun and all the others locked in the backward prison of its pages? Is there a Manga character out there who has escaped into the real world, only to find

find him as a suggestion on her Tindr page." She looked back at him with that faux-innocent, mousy expression behind her spectacles, but dammit, he was serious this time. "No more

explosions of my skull. If I did, I wouldn't have paid so highly for them. I determined to be the next skeezy siphilitic heroin addict like my hero, Alastair Crowley, so I snorted

delight of the interns. "Who shot you?" Dr. Mak growled playfully at the corpse, who sat up without help & pointed at his son who was on hand to identify him. The son turned white

from selling and baking. Though he loved Betty Crocker, his reading ability was that of a child. And followed the instruction of Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham. He had trouble and

shaft, her body appearing to shrink as she falls. POV Erica, as she falls in slo mo. Cut to Slow Moe, exterior cityscape. SFX his forehead glowing as he realizes Erica's peril.

gift paradox: In order to send the white albatross back in time, which we did, our time machine required the life of a white albatross. That's sorta the Gift of the Magi, right?

be able to pound out the dent in hr forehead plate with a rubber mallet. This, she hoped, would stop the Neptunal transmissions, but it only gave her a headache. Incoming messages

But enemies are far from devils, far from nemesis. Those would be the Algonquin-style elitists who think they're better than you because they smoke. It's why you can only give up.

that? A padded seat? Dr. Singh's patients started to refer to him as "Irritable Collin", which of course, made things worse. His receptionist, Hilda, got into the habit of ducking

so did her thighs, until she would not look out of place in a Wal-Mart, if I'm thinking of the same person here. I might not be. Her name has been lost to antiquity, by which I

and Melania rose, a decrepit zombie. Enraged by the loss of her penis, Melania joined Godzilla in truncating the city's taller buildings, like a pair of radioactive weed-whackers.

Bleeding, I collapsed, a crawling thing with trousers 'round his ankles. My vision was wavy as the ocean. Though I tried to cling to the world, all I grasped was sand. The beach

retired fire chief who still lived in the broom closet, was irritated. "Sloppy!" he huffed, "Why, in my day we never left the fire house unmanned! Guess I'll have to handle this

in his practiced falsetto, "What are you wearing?" Matlock responded, "A white three-piece suit with a clashing tie." 2 hours later, Matlock & Barney Fife were groping in an alley