. And why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six offender.

wife pronto, one that didn't lose interest in sex just because she was a zombie. "Brains" she would repeat. "Is that all you ever think about?" Ned snapped back in exasperation.

moment too soon. I was tired of impersonating that one-named wreck for small town stages. I wanted out of show biz and out of my whiskey bottle, but first I had to get out of this

&money isn't an issue. Oh, to pay the price of ill preparation! Humans scrape for pennies, often outside sources, when they don't get their way. They forget that joy starts in them

And after all, isn't love best when both give a half to make a whole? It's the bonding of two lives to make one. Treat your life as if it belonged to your love. I would if I had

the his office was always full of blood. When they looked closer they noticed that the VP was a bit more two dimensional than they were used to. Gordo discovered it was a picture.

that he had listed on a note. His first subject was Philandry 101. Lance knew he would claim Crown's Privilege over his own forays into such saucy trimmings. His next subject was

Blue Clyde, especially since they had "Blue" in their name. After ingestion of the band, the blue blob wandered the riverside, stoned out of it's mind on their residues. The police

Probably people who write for FoldingStory! And how did Ukrainian grannies gain immortality anyway? Aren't they all hopped up on shirka and krokodil these days? My granny is!

Frank on the behind, because it was so difficult to tell it from Frank's face. Frank's Nazi connections "fixed" the dog like they "fixed" Jews. Be sure to spay or neuter your pets!

time to spank that damn monkey. He’d be better off keeping in touch with himself. A parfait without layers is just creamed aspic. Keep that orangutan away from your Cool Whip!

a d20. "Y'see, DnD players be like, 'Everything in life is an even 5% chance,' but Fate players be like, 'It's all about your skill and creativity!' And don't start me on GURPS!"

counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She

Ariadne the Lesser Gorgon's favorite dish for a while. But I didn't care. She wasn't a full Gorgon so she couldn't turn me to stone with her glare. She hated to be reminded of it.

But the Louisiana Ladies Temperance League had cut her off after five martinis, claiming that The Lord would have stopped at four. "But it's only half past two!" she whinged. There

circumnavigate the surmounting glitches piling on FoldingStory, but he knew a sad solution to bring back their absent admins. Dare he sacrifice himself by violating the rules? All

into the septic tank at the Iced Tea Car Shield corporate headquarters. Suffice it to say, Iced Tea was really upset when he heard the rock banshee getting it on with Coco Austin

"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't

at the 17th angle, because gestures have meanings, even if unintended, and certain people will interpret your inadvertent gestures and imperil your kinghood." Upon hearing this,

come we can't get room service in this dump?" whinged the ghosts. "Because the waffles drop right through you and we have to call the janitor in!" thundered the hotel manager.