so did her thighs, until she would not look out of place in a Wal-Mart, if I'm thinking of the same person here. I might not be. Her name has been lost to antiquity, by which I

and Melania rose, a decrepit zombie. Enraged by the loss of her penis, Melania joined Godzilla in truncating the city's taller buildings, like a pair of radioactive weed-whackers.

Bleeding, I collapsed, a crawling thing with trousers 'round his ankles. My vision was wavy as the ocean. Though I tried to cling to the world, all I grasped was sand. The beach

retired fire chief who still lived in the broom closet, was irritated. "Sloppy!" he huffed, "Why, in my day we never left the fire house unmanned! Guess I'll have to handle this

in his practiced falsetto, "What are you wearing?" Matlock responded, "A white three-piece suit with a clashing tie." 2 hours later, Matlock & Barney Fife were groping in an alley

phone call with someone who always spoke too long without listening. Obedience can be bought, but does not equate with loyalty. The Phantom of Freedom is sometimes a theif, when

ime in the summer, as the heat expands the rivets. But you tighten yourself in the cold and grasp onto anything nearby. Life's not a parade of anything so solid as words. The robot

"Elixir" is a word which here means "poison". Smite the world of its pestilence. Nightmine was a drug of dreams, a fantasy afterlife people could sleep through. Freedom is fatal.

em to the Internet where my ex-boyfriend had posted the unsolicited images. D.I. Mitchell, heart pounding, veins throbbing, picked up a paparazzo and hurtled him into the birdbath.

able to tamp down the bile. My illegal romance with Kendar the elf was impacted by my deafness. As a bard, he needed too much to endure the painful irony. I stopped visiting that

the intense heat emanating from the Devil's skin. "Mr. Devil, may I sit my egg drop soup on your arm for a minute, until it warms up a bit, please?" "What will you give me, Charlie

that was the orchestrated version of the love theme from Putt Putt's Day at the Abattoir was burrowing into my skull and eating what little was left of my brain after a shadow of a

in the breaking headline: GOD CREATES UNIVERSE, SMITES ONE MERE HUMAN! "I FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN" SAYS GOD. The Junior Jumble was too good to pass up! I made my purchase post-haste.

-testine and shook at at them and they said "Ew" and ran away. Stan was happy to have vanquished the goons, but sort of disappointed that it had been done so peacefully. The dog

of the Year that year was none other than the photographer for Person of the Year for Time Magazine. "I'm so Metrosexual, I should marry a margarita!" said Rink Firsheen, tap-danci

Surprise, & Dead Skunk, Believe it or not, Dead Skunk smells a lot nicer than these dead hobos when they're ripe. Did I mention we're the largest dead hobo storage on the mainline?

but when you're near me, I'm in the Mood for Love". "OMG! Take off that witch's face, Susan," I scolded my little rat friend, "before you accidentally cast a spell!" Just then, a

amount of pillows could build the fort that would keep Loquacia out. Aunt Mukey hid her food stamps in the deepest recesses of this cushion labyrinth, which was visible from space.

Knowing similarities to previous media were the only route to greenlighting my pilot, I nodded as genuinely as I could. Now I just had to film "Verne and Shelby" at Mt. Dew HQ. For

with that he spun the ship back around, so the dead one could be buried in his place of birth. But Neptune had other ideas. The great sea god had no intention of honoring the