Here, have some e-food bought with your imaginary e-money. Enjoy this e-roof over your head. And have you ever noticed airline peanuts always leave the toilet seat up? Honk-honk!

ess, until it came back. The HESS truck. Everyone scream in fear, the HESS truck is here! Rockets launched from its side banks, decimating Santa's Village at the South Shore Plaza!

Though, he thought he was in private, he noticed he was being watched. Removing his arm from his mouth, blood dripping. He decided to make his first move. He walked over to..

agents are pushovers. They caved to $cientology, Mulder never took a real case, and they couldn't figure out Dale Cooper's deal. The FBI really needs to get its kit together, man!

though the Verdant Fern Dioramas to her secret stash of hamsters. I watched as the Moss Queen lit one like a bong, all the way until she drank the bong water. "Who's there!?" the

puffing because of my cadaverous coffee breath. It's cool Hammy stays on one side of my mouth 'cause it makes me look like a hamster. Mom also doesn't know I eat the hamster wafers

Little Rodney glanced over to the cafeteria. Charlie was all over it. He signaled Little Ping to get the Molotov sippy cups ready. No Viet Cong was going to get HIS blood money!

but if he did he knew he was going to go kill his punk ass grandfather and if he did that then he could not exist to go back and kill his punk ass dad right before he scored with

dagger skills with the help of logobot processors. Our leader lived in a Gingerbread manor house far from the fray, but had pictures of matchstick men on the library's walls. We

the Quatelbaum children set spring traps around their hut and were able to catch Genocide Mouse as he was sneaking in to starve the family by eating all their rice gruel. His back

Miss Betty nodded without thinking, realizing Boo-Boo was right. She embraced him in a warm bear hug. It lasted a while, feeling one another breath, and her heart warmed for him.

-down two-timimng monster that she was. But Megumi's lust for Godzilla went unrequited, for Godzilla had been rendered sterile by the same radiation that had made him gigantic.

whole stalks of corn growing between his ears, and advised he used proper sandpaper, not Susie's sandpaper cat tongue. Gag. But a 25-ft restraining order is like an alien pony with

hippets found on HowTo.net. Or whatever that site is. And not just Afghan rugs. All manner of Asian hair pieces. It's like a mini vacuum and comb rolled into one! You can even use

my truck wouldn't start and my mayonnaise had gone off and nobody wanted to walk in my shoes. I wanted desparately to find a way out of this country-western song, but

We could see no problem in that statement. We moved along. This gets awkward when we try to talk while walking the walk of the talk, as it happens! Sorry, I got excited there.

it occur that to her that she was reason all her workplaces were getting burned down. It was clearly poltergeist activity. At 26 she was well outside the normal range for it but fu

couldn't see what he was stealing from the ghosts. He stole the ghost of Christmas Past's wallet and lost all of his spirit cash at the Casino of the Dead. "Dammit all to Heck!" he

tides and the Sugarbelles that Love Them, when an advertisement came on about four times telling him to watch Navel Crime Investigation...Show. So he changed the channel to see

scattered, refraining from breaking her fall. The old bitch was dead, but at least her cute kitties would not starve. Those cats would grow into super cats, adopting her mannerisms