Earth is like a shake weight.Its flat but round like a pizza & there's a crystal dome up there with points of lights & some planets, the moon & sun projected on it. Night & day are

-b Bim complained. "Quitcher bellyachin'" Cherub Bum replied, "At least we got income. Plus, we're too ethereal to be killed by all these cigars and fast food." The other cherubs

by bright, shiny objects and vastly shades of charcoal grey…and where's the humor in that? Don't answer that!

in space. “Where’s the fire, Rocket Man?” said the cop. “Rocket Man? I am NOT Kim Jong-un!” said the spacesuited guy. “Well,” said the interplanetary cop, “I’m not Donald Trump eit

ologist prepared a special audit, saying "Turn your head to the left & cough & we'll determine if you can cook hamburger from a distance." "I just want a refund, thanks." I said.

The wind howled, carrying the sickening scent of ash through the air, it whipped around me as I opened my eyes, sword poised.

I was thinking back to the innocence of childhood, when “toilet,” “peter,” and “heiny” were the dirtiest words we knew. Butch was 2 years older and knew other, racier words, like

My captor, an alien invader shot down, from what I can gather from it's attempts to communicate with me, somewhere near Denver. It is trying to get back to his side of the fight.

I read them on the walls of the underground. How the signs of flesh sliding against rock was getting lower and lower until what was left was a shell of a man, who was my father.

we're over that.If you want to blast me go ahead. I'm tessellated like a holograph among all the sentients of the 13 worlds.There's no death for me." MJ Blammo disintegrated into

Yes, but only the right of pursuit. Still alive? Bang. You're dead. Liberty? Hahah. You like your job and mortgage, don't you. Happiness? Entertainment has never been better. So wh

Pete warned them he would flip the bird at the next guy who laughed. Ted chuckled and learned Pete was good to his word. In seconds his face was full of the 10-lb flightless kiwi

lt of acid at the foreman's glare, which took on the quality of a red traffic light. Out came the foreman's bola, which he flung blindly at the gaucho. It strayed towards El Grunto

Onto the kitchen floor, swearing because he sucked at making hot chocolate on a game similar to surgeon simulator, he reached for the bag of marshmallows.

The sound reverberated inside my skull, thrumming to the beat of my heart, and I could feel

Concentrate. This isn't real, not any of it. You're still dreaming, and it's drawing ever nearer. I can't stick around much longer.

write the last thing that will ever matter to anyone, but I'm tired of this all. I know

I ran my tongue across the leaves. It didn't taste like toe at all.

trying to get Lady Gar Gar to admit to having an affair with Det. Manatee. Gar Gar danced around the subject in a dress made out of tuna steaks, but Mme Megamouth could not get her

" I asked my wife's twin. "No, I mean we share a private joke between us," answered Sherri. I was worried about her being in our bed, and that the 'private' in question was mine.