I serve the finest of human flesh in a variety of dishes.

The sage responded, "That's the meaning of life, git gud. There's a reason why people don't like to hear the truth. Nothing happens for a reason, everyone is going to die.

up at the high arched ceiling, and the new skylight the explosion provided. My skin feels like it's on fire. which wasn't far from the truth. It was starting to hurt less, '

tonight, and the night air is crisp and chill. It would be a perfect night, if I hadn't just crawled out of my own grave.

That is the precise moment when the kitchen floor opened up beneath. All this time, my house had sat atop a giant sinkhole, and I didn't know it. I fell way down deep

Sadness sighs heavily, "Okay, I guess so." Just the other night, I checked under my bed and saw a set of monstrous yellow eyes peering out of the darkness at me. "Kitty!"

“Doc. Text-lax worked. I wrote 57 novels in one night. But now I have the runs; one run-on sentence after another.” “Try Litera-odium. Three at bedtime, and you wake up blocked.”

Tina will know where to some grade A Newt's Eye on the cheap. I would be forced to sell my cat tree to make the payments otherwise. And then how would I acquire my cats? I decided

this weakness of ale? But would anyone listen and attempt to go through therapy? NO! Even as drunks, they got the phone and rung up those ritzy Ghost Busters. It was strange lookin

you know how to get 5 Michelin stars in cooking? be good at cooking. jk. be unoriginal - send

es. So the geniuses of today decided that it was time to go ultimate hipster and not only be able to master phones- but every single piece of knowledge known to man. Society would

I had thanksgiving turkey delivered to me by ultra sonic snail mail. It was delish, I told the snail who worked for ultra sonic snail mail & co, to give my compliments to the chef

They threw rotten fruit. Mage Ratchett raised her staff to shield herself ineffectively. "There is no magick Mange! But if you want to go Outside looking for artifacts so be it!"

You are tired but don't want to give up. Your team is cheers you but is doesn't really sound like cheering, but you continue to climb anyways.

Miracle whip likes pickle. We'll be in a real pickle if you forget the bread again like last time.

Beyond that doll-like appearance, she was an undercover Spy-Borg, with built-in camera behind her eyes. To see the truth, one would've had to pull them from their sockets.

Beat hard. Let them know who's boss. Once they're incorporated, take two more eggs and separate the whites & yolks. Whip whites until you see twin peaks. Cue spacey synth pop

It's not that there aren't bigger problems in the world, other people have experienced things far worse than she ever will. Knowing this doesn't help her at all.

and soon formed an organized religion. The Church of Redbull soon gained massive influence all around the world

were convinced this was the latest rave, & got crazy jealous. They took to the woods to find a bear who'd maul THEM in the forehead, too. Back at the orphanage, the frantic sisters