He hated his job because he hated himself. Also his job was awful, but he hated himself for having such an awful job that really it all balanced out evenly.

Think of this as a very long one-sided conversation. Hello, hi, how are you, I'm quite well thanks, wonderful weather we're having, no I didn't kill that man, yes I want some tea

Pfft! If a deer toots in a forest and no one is around that can hear it, does it still make a sound? The deaf girl kept following the trail and nearly stepped in a big pile of

. "Johnson, how could you?" He sobbed. "After all we've been through together ... I thought you were the Johnson for me." Johnson and Johnson rode off together in a weinermobile.

Space dust is dark & mercury quixotic, so the span that Max made had designs mysterious and an ever changing form. Millenia later his bridge formed the backbone of night

I never plan on starting a rebellion, I just comment on stuff. It's not my fault people actually listen to what I say and then do something about it. I just like talking.

He is so cute now in his new proper place that I hope heartily for rain. Sometimes I'm lucky.Then I can fondly reach up and take my coat from Pikachu's hooks on the way outdoors.

It's hard to prove, too. "You see a second into the future? Heh, yeah right." I get that all the time. I am good at reading the signs ahead of time at least. In a second, I will

I held it up closer and took a really long look at it. The stone was a miniature boomerang! I wondered who had designed it and how I had just happened to pick it up. Then it spoke

By a tactical use of will, it had been found, it was possible for the Time Traveling Squirret, with the right training, to be one squirrel when it darted across the grass & another

, with people yelling at their desktop computers, laptops, and phones in a wave of panic and frustration. Several splinter groups resorted to snail mail and *gasp* face-to-face con

and then I fall back into a bed of feathers and pass out from so much opium inhalation. When I resurface, the lady of the swirling smoke is gone, and my feet are covered in soot.

It's almost winter, and I'm dreading the cold that comes without snow. It's never cold enough for snow, and then there's none of the fun and all of the awful."

"So I really need your help, and I know we've had our differences, like when I accidentally ran over your wife with my car, but we can't let this tear us apart."

When I found out I was in a love triangle, I breathed a sigh of relief. "You two can have each other. Good luck." Then I moved to Canada and wrote several books.

My diary wrote back, "The job interview went terribly. They said I 'didn't seem like the right fit.' So I cursed all the workers with a spell that turned them into carrots"

perhaps, all you had to do was think, and the other person would be able to receive the thought and share a laugh. It wasn't so funny when the dying thoughts appear

would I kill, who would I give the world to, and who who betray me in the end. I never knew who among them would fit those roles.

All my diary entries read the same way, with me complaining about how nothing seemed to change.

If you want to add on to this list: brains...brains...brains, you need to give my words just a twist...the breeze at my back was my neck kissing-ly gentle...gently kissing my neck.