seemed like he was the sort to believe very deeply about things, and she wasn't going to try to change his mind, especially when it benefited her to have him think her a hero.

as the vice-president of the National Incomplete Morons Inc., and because of her politics, the nurse refused to treat him.

Turning, she made her way down the left hallway, not stopping for a moment.

This was the most bored I've been since two minutes ago.

She was as graceful as a ballerina, if by happenstance that ballerina happened to be extremely drunk at the time. So I suppose she wasn't graceful after all.

'Beagle', which was likely easier to understand.

all the broken shards for later. Waste not want not, after all, and she never wasted anything, not even time, which she kept neatly folded in her laundry basket with her socks.

be the last choice she ever makes. But I hope it won't come to this. Problem is, I still can't trust her. Better safe then sorry, is my motto.

My fifth grade teacher caught my sister and her friends ditching school, so she cut off their bangs and shaved their eyebrows.

The saddest things in life are often the funniest. Comedy is, at it's core, laughing at someone else's misfortune. Sometimes things are so terrible that it doesn't seem real, but

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was sitting in the living room, reading 'War and Peace: The Coloring Book', when there was a knock at my door. My door melted away.

his future self making out with another version of himself from an alternate universe! He threw up upon seeing this, and promptly fainted in the manliest of fashions.

The Russians found the Mushroom Kingdom was actually a dictatorship, and they were so pleased they gave everyone a gold star and a sticker with a smiley face. Then they shot

His misery seemed to swarm around him, like an uncontrollable fog. It clung to the people who tried to be friendly and drove the rest off. It became his protection and his prison

He had found himself at the top of an immense skyscraper, clinging to the edge as the winds battered him to and fro.

Yuri, who had always wanted a large family so he'd have plenty of help on his communist hamster farm. With physical deftness befitting a mammal of his size, Yuri escaped the blade

and he died. At the Pearly Gates he ranted and raved that it wasn't fair that he was not allowed to enter heaven just because he had been a tyrant boss all his life and had caused

nobody really cared about his opinions on dogs, anyway. They were just being polite. No wonder his books about dogs were selling so poorly! The truth hurt, but he lifted himself

I didn’t understand me so if they could then what couldn’t I see about myself that was keeping me so ignorant about who or what I was or am? That they couldn’t made me glad.

I grabbed the Doomsday Book and flipped the pages quickly, and began to read out loud. The words felt heavier with each passing second.