. The device makes a 'time bubble' around my body, dialing the time around me so I can live inside a 'bubble' of incredibly fast-moving time relative to everyone else. I can use it

I turned down the volume on my Big Brain / Big Ideas podcast so I could answer the quiz on what my spirit animal would be if I was a Pokemon. (Possibly Snorlax?)

But Mrs. Grimass was a vocab nazi & refused to accept that answer. Then Biff raised his hand: " 'Scotus' is de full name of a dude who udder dudes call Scotty." "Anyone else?"

e want to put up statues of Big Boy holding a mighty hamburger in front of every courthouse in this fine country, we have a right! It's America's history!

tell you where it is. Pretty big too... Give me ten bucks and I'll give you a ticket... which you can't use. Sooo... The Museum of Things You'll Never Know, now open. Things You Do

The state lives on plunder and relies on violence and the threat of violence. Only through fraud can it hide its essence. It is simply a criminal organization with a false claim to

Who said: "There are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human"? Use that name in the next fold please, then give another quote with instructions like this...

"Why are we defending the existence of a monopoly to protect us from merely the possibility of a monopoly?" asked the Evil Emperor Ting about the telephone monopoly.

I knew that I was not surrounded by fans of pastrami but I had to try. "How about a Pastrami Rueben sandwich?" The old white lady understood even less. She was forgetting herself.

"Hon, that's not a Government Issue candy bar, it's a Gastro-Intestinal," said Zing, Evil Emperor Ting's spouse. Ting dropped the candy bar into a nearby swimming pool, where it

like a stillborn tomorrow only sadder because we didn't ask for it and we didn't see the promise. Worlds where we spilled our blood and libations in equal measure. Now gone, forgot

People don't seem to understand that Geppeto didn't want a son. He wanted a boy. The usual methods, for reasons, were an avenue he was unable to walk. So he turned to his puppets.

change the subject. So, How about those culturally significant sports team?

Maybe if he got a group of random strangers to write a story 180 characters at a time, I'd know how much he loves me. Maybe their words will lift him up, and I'll know he's the one

Having invented the hamster wheel, I live a lavish lifestyle. If you are reading this add, I may have the dream job you've been hoping for your whole life. What I need is someone

George Assbottom was always losing his keys. His wife, Linda Assbottom would berate him as they stood outside their house, trying to break in through a window. The Assbottoms were

So far, all I've got for a friend is Tom. I thought this sight was supposed to make me popular, but only Tom wants to be my buddy. My profile pic is me standing on a mountain with

not polite to stare" Pooh said. "Oh come on, Pee Bear, you're absolutely dripping from the waist down. What happened, Christopher Robins didn't wanna pull over?" "Oh bother," pooh

myself from laughing histaricly. Was I loosing my mind, or was my lunch actually climbing all over my body. They started singing a shanty. It went a little something like this:

My garage-made tactical nuke had solved all my problems. I didn't have to worry about the law finding me after stealing the plutonium. and my Haz-Mat suit kept me safe from rads.