"Have you never seen a speedo before? It's actually quite comfortable and keeps all my jiggly bits from floating." I was beet red, having squirted all my sunscreen on the girls.

I saved 2 peels for later, when the kids weren't around. I put one in a time capsule to show them in a few years, to teach them the importance of their own future. I ate the other.

a lot of leaves even for a wealthy Mantis like the mayor. Now Mayor Mantis didn't pay himself proclaiming it was to the benefit of all to have the ant railroad stop in Bugtown so

torade bottle in the cooler at work because it wouldn't fit in my bag and I didn't want to hold it barehanded. First world problems... The next day serendipity surprised me with

in, all smiles, clearly not holding a strait jacket each, as it appeared they we were doing.Old Rex had sense their arrival. He had planned for this. "Tit whistle", he said & the r

e we tried a complete takeover" to that sentence. Then it would all make sense and they could return to the task of peering at the sights through overly long telescopes. Galileo

Destitution was my destination. That wasn't a secret. I mention it to everyone. Destitution, Neveda, soon to be my new home town when I moved there to the Destitution Institution.

As I entered my house I could sense that something had changed. It felt abandoned, I decided after a few heartbeats. She had finally left me. She had and for a crime boss from Des

I've always wanted more in life. I've always wanted to see my name in shiny lights. Don't we all? We, as humans, naturally crave fame. That's why I turned to him.

The Devil creates ourselves. It isn't real creation because we wouldn't have that power but a close facsimile. We live and die believing it is real. Because, to us, it is. Even now

creepy even to me. How can I even dare to present myself off as an accomplished tattooist if I can't table the baggage. Every tattoo I do ends up looking like The Dragon of Tone Po

else tensed up like I had really called the pretend Emperor a Dipshit to his face. Which I did. Then I realized that the Emperor was sacri sanc and even in a story he was to be

, not that I will get to see their reactions. Any note I write, I write for them. So it has be a good, maybe the best I've ever written. First I need to spend time researching

and money makes the world go round. the tiny coins that were pushed into the vending machines provided him expensive suits and big mansions.

but a diplomat can't handle that responsibility. communicating with the middle east was like talking to a wall that occasionally tried to murder yo and waterboard your family

we called our selves RSJW's. we fought emo's hipsters, and most of all SJW's. we played the black parade while beating an emo up, and bjork with a hipster. we love violence and we

until that glitch happened and we knew. She wasn't human. She was AI. I didn't care. I still loved her. Plus, it explained the plumbing down there. Against her programmer's wishes,

and killed the german man chasing him.1939 was a bad year to be Jewish. he fought his way through S soldiers only to see his wife raped by Himmler. he could to save, but decided to

I guess Lucifer had been paying attention after all because he asked me, "Hey, why did you stop? Tell me more about that weird chick you call Naughty Noa. Her & Dirty Dobeya sound

The translator was working on Hitlers suicide note when he understood Hitler felt unimportant as he had failed in eliminating the Jews. Judaism continued and life was good. Hitler