make Rapunzel jealous. This man has to be fresh and new. And he must condition. What good is long hair when it's all knotted up? I need someone better

Curses the guy to high heaven, but she knows she won't stop going there. After all he did save her life once. And she enjoys his company. She reminds him of her big brother, who

Baby girl you have to suck, latch on and drink all the milk you can. Doctor says you're malnourished. And I won't let you die, my second beautiful daughter, I won't let you meet th

tell them their future. Some say yes. I always tell them they will get run over by a car. Then I run them over with my car. I am the most successful fortune teller in the tristate

their droppings. In fact, in certain countries they are a delicacy often served with maggot-filled couscous. You also don't have to spend exorbitant amounts of money on grooming

MoldingStory. The idea sounds like nonsense. Who would want to replace such a perfect website with a website where you could build anything you want... Now that you think about it.

when my heart's not in it. Things just haven't been the same since my wife left me for an independently wealthy ombudsman with a fabulous mustache. Critter hunting is about all I

ay he glowered at anyone who met his eyes and growled when someone dared to be occupying a spot he wanted to sweep with the metal detector. The 2 handed sword grip was suspicious

baby who revealed to her all the secrets of the world and extolled the virtues of infinity. She began to observe the world through her mind's eye not passing judgement- just being.

ded jeans upon which we wrote the facts of the case." Det Manatee pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he continued to the young officer. "Mr. and Mrs. Deville are newly

I make my living concocting potions and selling them to Hollywood wannabe movie stars like Tinsley Indigo-Taylor, Peyton-Ursula "Sage" Stewart-Young and Alayna Scott Swann.

-urt building just because your forefathers built yurts. Just change universes and you can find another career. If you hover over a universe you will be able to see what it has in

-s apologizing in song for not having the correct change. The Sunglass Hut executives were not at all amused by God's overtures and threatened to sue Him. In court, God asked the

for freshly fried sinner, of which there seemed to be an unending supply. "Goo' boy, Al," little Lucifer said as he patted his unholy head, "Now spit them out so we can refry them.

I love/Hate when in anticipation of getting out of bed I do a full body stretch and I overcome by sense of calm that I don't now want to move & lose it but I still need to get up.

Pumas (jungle cat stand up comedians from Austria) decided to put on a one night only comedy festival to raise money for the poor doomed humans. The venue was booked, the date set,

Lolita's next stop was the Folger's factory where she traded in the glass container and it's contents for a sizable tin of cheap disgusting Folger's Coffee. Just the worst coffee.

reality tunnel? Of course it doesn't since "M" is merely a symbol and is not conscious. If you induce yourself into an unconscious state you cannot experience any form

trendsetters that they were, would have fainted at the sight of such a ghastly accessory. I however only had to wear it for a fortnight and then the money would be mine.

Independence Day Picnic in the Park, Nothing brought nothing. Helene's wedding, Nothing brought nothing. Potluck Paducah Days to raise money for the Swan Nose cancer, Nothing broug