I got an irate call on my cel: "You told all the passengers I'm having a baby?!" "Wha..how'd you know?" "The frikin' CONDUCTOR phoned to congratulate me!" Yikes. "Uh, they won't te

— I mean barrooms floors — to get to know Kim better. She intimidated him, even making him stutter in his thoughts. But then, she

how is this even possible? He cant really think he is going to make employee of the month at fedex right..?

in front of me. That is what saved me from the blast when Joe threw the grenade. Vanya took it all. The blast left me almost deaf but I could still hear the splats of his flesh as

I decided to ask the new neighbors in 27G. They'd moved in about three or four days ago. Maybe they knew where I could find Steve. The clock was ticking. I had to find him or I die

had never kidnapped before. "Scotty, prepare the transporter to heave ho another balleen payday. The crew will get their pieces of eight." Kirk beamed his smile around the bridge.

had clearly lost all humanity since he had become a cyborg, in spite of his being a man of the cloth. Talula stopped dancing and turned to him. "Rev Hathaway, I've been meaning to

Most often the only response I got to this news was a shoulder shrug. Once the word spread, people stopped bothering me and I was able to focus all my attention on Candy. Which was

, “He buggered me!” Tuco rolled with laughter and then barfed. “I’m a mare,” Boneyass whinnied. Tuca wiped his mouth and giggled, “If you’re a mayor, then Yo soy el presidente!”

came to NO CONCLUSION. They would have to retrial the case in the arena. That was the custom in those days. Detective Manatee tshirts disappeared overnight. His chances were slim.

my tie taut & then adjusting the drape of my hat. My evil doppelganger in the mirror was speaking on his side but I heard in my head. "You're me on that side of the mirror. Have to

I'm talking a Wookie level bad sport Killer Robot. The kid learned to pick his battles. Sorry, Clue, and, Snakes & Ladders were Verboten. Monopoly, Life, & Go were problematic too.

Well, forgive the heck outta me if I just can't do it. I get a rash from washing in poop. Call me a sissy if you will," said Sid. "Sissy!" said Hiram. "Oh, all right," said Sid, "

-ou hand me a mirror? I have to see how picturesque I look as I weep over being misunderstood. Here, take a photo and post it on every social media site available. When the world

the Scotch tape endcap. I hadn't been aware of the juxtaposition at the time. I was just hiding. I suspected the church ladies ignored the "Tapeworm Free Zone" sign. The prescribed

"Officer, that's such a relief!" she lied. The creepy dude struggled to his feet, then started dancing and crooning: "When I think of you, I touch my face." The police lingered for

Gradually, I became aware that our bike tires were silent, no longer rolling across a surface. The city beneath the bridge fell away, and we were pedaling into a void. But we kept

point you in the right direction." The phantom voice echoed. "Make a point of how poignantly disappointed you are in Mr.LaPointe's point returns' department" The voice hollered.

were enjoying a bit of grog before a bit more buggery. "The only thing is, Sir. The rapist is the the therapist." Due to the bugger's lull Lt Knudssen was heard by King Bill. "Send

Her superior who then question who that was that was just shot, his action proved that she was indeed a major contributor to the already rising number of police brutality cases. He