Bernice, who had absolutely no talent whatsoever, but knew Diana Ross, and that was enough. So Bernice took the NEW Supremes on the road, where they were promptly run over by a

to the hungry and under-dressed. Henkley & Hockley offered vests made out of provolone. Gowns made out of kale. Socks made of cotton candy fibers woven delicately together. We als

" they said, in unison. "Don't mind me, I'm just a horse," I replied, as I stuck a gun in the teller's gut while he handed me all the money. "Good horse," the teller cooed as I

turned into a turnip and ran for the back door. He got julienned by the ninja food processor. Radish turned redder and dove at a celery stalk. "Geronimo!" The cobblers entered the

The value of each defaced photo of the Senate fluctuated in line with the political winds in the real Senate. These were 1st volleys in an internecine war. The caged homeless were

will win every race, be king of the mountain, top of the heap- but at what cost? Why, you're in luck, because this week only you can get your own bottle of L'eau de Travail at half

melting volcanoes felt. It gave them an odd sense of contentment to know that the floor was lava. That, however, was a task for when they woke up. If they ever did. A New Nancy Boy

(un)fatal error and hit "fold a random story"! The zombies stared in horror at the tiny box on the screen. It said something other than "BRAINS"! They didn't know what to type in

"Forsooth, Seamus! I bite my thumb at you, shit covered cur. The reasons you pretend for this break of faith can not, and WILL NOT go unpunished. You dullard!" The Knight drew his

mysterious door that just appeared. It was a glowing white color, with an eerie buzz coming from it. I stepped forward, entering through the light.

the broth with the savour of sadness. Mama quickly cast about her memories for a happy memory, trying to sweeten the dish, but all she could think was bitterness and resentment.

Alas for Xom Glorphbinvop, the Facebook Oracle had foreseen his attack. Xom had only incinerated a 17th Gen clone of the Zucc; already out of any inheritance. Insignificant. Zucc

Jerimiah Redford knew his way around a bear trap when he saw one. He didn't see this one. 1st off, he was a peach man. So the pair of bears bearing pears didn't square or seem fair

another plank of longpork. Dr. Horgenhoff sure had a lot of it in his walkin freezer. I always assumed he kept cadavers in there. What do I know? "Is Longpork a brand name?" Doctor

-er Laurie shouted from her kitchen window. "I'm tryin'a get this damned thing off my tail!" shouted Pip. "Well, come on over here, I'll hit it with my broom," offered Piper, who

with sour cream and artificial bacon bits and points them toward the mountains of mashed potatoes. "Fire!" commands Capt. Blue Cheese, but due to improper lighting, the canons

-ty Chinese Restaurant over on Cumberland Avenue. It has a label on the bottom. He had wondered what had happened to it and here it was. He looked up to see Mr. Davenderflans with

crew answering the Call of Gitche Gumee '. The lake, it is said, never gives up it's dead when the winds of November come early. And here I was with my hair still akimbo. "Answer

It hit me all at once, a roaring punch to the Solar Plexus; the roiling, fiery geyser of partly digested waste blowing through the viscera. I changed the channel; it was too late.

writhing across my skin where the bee's venom entered my bloodstream. I kept trying to beat my wings to the beat of the buzzing. I, of course, didn't have wings. It didn't care. An