Finally, when she realized they would not relent, Olga blurted out the truth. "I can't eat anyone that I've had sex with! If you make me eat him the sacrifice will be for naught."

The custodian waited. The blank remained blank. The custodian looked at his watch. The wax in Room 217 should be ready for a second coat in about 30 minutes. The blank didn't care.

leaned towards Nigel. McKinney saw this and rounded on Nigel. "Was this your idea Nigel! This ghastly idea smells like you!" Nigel slapped his hand on the desk. "It's your idea! We

shattered the window and dove onto the parking lot. I paused between two cars to catch my breath, but I could hear the commotion from inside growing louder and knew that I had to

it seemed like a good as time as any to let her true form emerge. She couldn't say how she did it but suddenly she broke through their clutches. Her glory pulverized everybody near

you your own face as others see it and, by extension, you." Then the monster picked up Santa's headless body and threw it at us. We scattered through Athlete's Foot & into the food

"Who'd've thought sanitation engineer is so prestigious!" marveled Ed's wife. But upon arriving on Uranus & settling into their habitat, the mounds of poop everywhere made it clear

arose among the Potato People, who felt that the Crustacean Americans were getting too much sympathy. they proposed a show: "Can You Roll off the Table Better than a Fifth Grader"

had been at the Cone. That is what we called an unknown structure in the woods behind our house. If you went in naked it transported you to the center of the Universe as Earth's re

a chill pill and reassessed the situation. Sure, everything had been destroyed, but wasn't it a learning experience? The Doktor nodded sagely as the air left his lungs. Tickertape

-cine figurine of himself accepting his Torture Diploma (which he had begun to model in anticipation) was red with blood. If his victim died, he would only be a murderer. Thinking

to be tied over the fact that she might have to marry a sculleryboy, the mermaid asked Neptune to turn the boy into a more witty and sophisticated gentleman. Neptune only

on the anniversary of that day 11.3 years. I argued how that .3 seemed tacked on. Nevertheless the court upheld the arrangement. What was I going to do with 11 lemons from the car

-ve from the headmaster, once I return to this era, if I ever do. If I had done my homework, I would know how to avoid coming back to face the music. I watched as time sped in the

eating brains. It should be easy to strip them of their money but it gets tiresome trying to keep them from eating your brains away from you first. Besides, now that most people kn

Vahn of Vahn's Vans over on Vonn? Even if they could, send their son to Cartoon College: should they? Would they? All of this ran through the mind of Dr. Goodfeel's receptionist, O

"How about I be more like Madge & soak your ass in Palmolive instead," he said to me snidely. "That sounds enjoyable; assuming we're scaling up for size. When can do this?" "F&*k

as I was handing the wheel to him I realized I was in fact really driving and Peter Lorre wasn't trying to take the wheel. I'd ran off the road. I managed to stop before going over

to his wondering eye, a metacular pan for the baking of pie. Beans prodded Tickles, always prepared, with a crust to top, and so they dared use Farmer Hal's 94-pound pumpkin to

isnt very modern, so he has brought some dude-mancakes, some niche fruit, and bbq chicken. i think this will be oyr best internet themed dinner yet!" i say, hoping you notice me