But John knew the real deviant secret. The Toffee company's unethical approach to making their sweet candy that only Whole Foods sold was not the organic chocolate but

all the broken shards for later. Waste not want not, after all, and she never wasted anything, not even time, which she kept neatly folded in her laundry basket with her socks.

only because it was better for him than the other way around. With Death in the house, he didn't want to take any chances the next person he touches was him. Death would know all

street party full of Walmart-appareled chin-maskers, she realized that nothing and nobody would ever be her friend, not the people of Earth, nor her artistic sensibilities, or even

Within moments, a matron wearing a Viking helmet and metal corset appeared with his breakfast. She bellowed him a tune of triumph and set it before him and left in a flourish.

But lately the cats living in the basement have noticed there are not as many bugs as there used to be in the basement. They suspect a new predator has moved into the basement with

system set up that records every site you visit, every purchase you make, and takes a copy of every message you send. They said it was for our safety.

grabbed Nour's Kalashnikof. Nour kept it scrupulously clean.He was the OCD member of their troop.Ali opened the magazine. "Hmm. Sharif.Looks like you've improved your... Wait a min

Queen to E5. The baboon only got angry and threw feces at me. Much like the game of Monopoly I would play with my family. But this was a gentles game. I threw the chess board at

, there wasn’t anyone else. “Thanks!” said a voice, which made me scream. “For the first time since the gas chambers, I think I look acceptable- or, as acceptable as a ghost can.”

up to Jay Stewart and the lovely Carol Merrill to quell the rebellion. Monty ignored his injured clavicle and, wincing, went on. “Let’s see what’s behind…oh Christ it hurts…door #2

huge behinds, so she took a bite out of Kazuko's without wondering much why a Sumo wrestler would have a girl's name. He gave a high-pitched shriek that solved part of that riddle,

standing in my spot. Get. Out!" I wrenched away so harshly that some of the skin of my toes ripped. I hardly felt it at the time; I was eager to escape that terrifying maw. Mufasa

-tered to the technological carnivores, but vegans just laughed as they got in their flatulence-powered spaceship and fled our polluted world. "You stink!" they said as they sped

Rhonda thought that the Fork did this, and all of the T-BONE steaks were markers of something that needed fixing, The Code name of the processing plant was Shakti/Kalki Inc. which

I swear it. I'll risk anything to catch his golden parachute tail. I want to overdraft my way into retail nirvanna. I leaned dangerously forward grasping at the gossamer threads

where she'd been hiding the mongoose. Too late now. It peered out of the pocket of her jacket, fixing its beady eyes on the fortune teller and drawing back its lips in a snarl.

Renfield, the half witted parakeet Miss Penelope rescued, never could say her name right. Miss Penelope began replacing the carpet hacking away with a dull are. Home renovation was

there was cheese in my bread and whisky in my teacup, he threatened to tell my cattle-rustling posse. But he had it wrong – I only drink Rémy 1837. As for him, he warn't no Texan

We all snapped to attention and little Toby wet his pants. "They had red eyes and were the size of my fist!" Grandpa raved, "and by the time they were done, the farm was picked