can of beans that we had picked later he had woken up and told me that i was the one and only

Then the head did a 720 degree rotation. She vomited yesterday's business at the pow wow. The blood spray from her tear ducts becomes a torrent strong enough to move her head ba

"I think Smithers is working himself too hard. He's started to lean to the side", observed Kent Munn, VP of Trust Building. "I agree', said HR looking at the camfeed of a post-it n

week-old ham. Bob thought it was stupid to care about such a thing. Yeah it's an old, boring concept, but so is everything else humans do. In protest, he

The Curse of Count Snotula! The gloop oozing from my nose slopped into a fetid puddle on the floor. And, as I watched in horrified fascination, it began to coalesce into a

The singing voices were singing about loneliness. About the distance there was between how we lived the hour and how we sold it to the bleachers. Putting asses in the seats wasn't

against the creepy space aliens. Felines and Alice seemed to have something the aliens found unpredictable. Despite seemingly knowing everything in the universe, they failed to

It had everything—except the feeling of home. Although each day was filled with adventure, each night held a feeling of deep emptiness and longing

Little did he know, Ali left some, "Free Presents," in the Fridge, which were Farts trapped forever in the seams of the fridge itself. Not only did it smell to High Heaven, but t

"I have a bad case of sporadic evil laughs. SEL is a real thing you know" she replied. "Oh I'm a certified SEL therapist." He replied with a smile and she faltered. "Uhh ...

team do some nitrous balloons and play strip poker while they considered how to push their war mongering agenda on the weakling general populace. "Look here" said Killovitch " it's

Even the cicada who'd flown into the room during the interview got a job as a water purifier. The end of recession never looked so good. Now with an influx of corporate workers,

snowmen so that they could continue to survive in Hell once it froze. Next, Satan started to funnel global warming into the vent system connecting the surface to Hell. Then, he had

The dealer looked puzzled for a moment, glancing down at the cards he held. "Um, Simon, we're playing Uno. There is no bluffing." He slapped a Draw Four onto the pile of cards.

paradise where we were free to be our little selves. I was determined that Toto and I would never go back to that Kansas Hell-hole again and anchored our house to a magic mountain.

the "rubberband man firework trick" or Uncle Buck's famous "Goat Brain Crawdad pinch" wasnt exactly something my dad could even do at his age, let alone without following Uncle to

upon the man as a worthy rival. He knew ABBA as much as they did. Although the gnats got to listen in on the band's candid conversations, Petey was a neutral party for ABBA to vent

somehow both a reincarnation of William Blake and a concurrent incarnation of Michelle Yeoh --tbh, not too surprising. Luckily, recently I had learned about Kardecist Spiritism and

belt jump to get through the Oort Clouds and out of the Galaxy, because all that the Human Race left behind was a small note, a picture that his Mother left behind of a place to go

, J. Fred Muggs, considered himself to be the Alpha male of the chimp prison and demanded obeisance from Bubbles. Inside Bubbles' primate heart, the hate began to grow. One night