Cleveland." The clerk chuckled. "Well, you should go someday. It's a beautiful city." Joe nodded, paying for his purchases and heading out into the night. As he walked, he wondered

So naturally, he pulled his first born child out of his backpack and was about to take a bite until an arrow pierced his calf. He yowled in pain and dropped the infant.

he didn't consider herself a red, blue or green. Our voices are not heard in the halls of government, he told herself. She took the next day off from protesting to protest a purse

Mr. Clean, having been in love with Ms. Cleary for years, game gallantly to her rescue. After clearing Ms. Cleary's toilet, Mr. Clean cleaned it and asked for her hand in marriage.

More specifically, he was unable, to date, to master the Luna moon walk. He was quite charming dancing an Io moon walk, or a Titan moon walk. Moriarty's moonwalk charade didn't chi

had me swelling up something fierce. Adjusting, I willed my vampiric fangs back into their sockets, took a deep breath and glanced at the moon. "My, lovely evening for a

Juror #11, having anticipated this might occur, pulled out her well worn copy of Twerking Grimoire for Intellectuals, and performed the twerk of UnMaking without Elementals. Luke

Though, I had to admit. Being held at gunpoint to write a story would be much worse...

from my suddenly emotionless husk of a shell I consider a body. The flowers, having taken away all sense of spirit an emotion, walked away to spread their 'love' on earth.

have been worse because I prevented the outrageous and harming acts of the 65th president, because of a hologram concert of Guns n Roses where future president was vulnerable.

for freshly fried sinner, of which there seemed to be an unending supply. "Goo' boy, Al," little Lucifer said as he patted his unholy head, "Now spit them out so we can refry them.

Lolita's next stop was the Folger's factory where she traded in the glass container and it's contents for a sizable tin of cheap disgusting Folger's Coffee. Just the worst coffee.

My arms had been replaced with giant pulsating tenticals that writhed violently. My tongue felt row after row of razor sharp, cracked teeth. I burped, and green ooze

each carrying styrofoam cups of eucalyptus mint tea to soothe their raw throats. I waited until I saw four sets of feet in front of me then attacked cutting their Achilles tendons.

s is just a price I have to pay. The information had to get out somehow. I only had the one place to hide it to get it out. We just never accounted for the levels of radiation it h

"I now pronounce you husband-torso and wife-torso!" The vow-torso announced. The Lady Torso and man torso shoved into their torsos, and the torso audience put their arms together

we have to work together to unlock our full potential and save ourselves, from ourselves.

Stop bringing up the machetes & the bloody rucksack, & the camera. We needed the interested parties alone to know what we had was out there. If others knew, we might invite competi

That horse-hat-knitted-from-the-knight's-still-attached-beard would go on to save the knight from many more dragons--and women--particularly the fire-breathing kind. But loneliness

in complaining that he couldn’t sleep which meant his whole pride couldn’t sleep. What did he have in his pocket for that? He reached into his pocket, his eyes glued to the lions t