that right, young ones? My audience of newlyborn nod their heads. One sucks a finger. "Mister Mylhelmm, I think I see one now," babbled one, swaying a finger towards the hulking

All of the kitty guests were stunned into silence. After the cacophonous mewling and screeching during the entirety of the main dishes, the lack of sound was startling. "Well?"

And also a great winding as the Voice of the Mighty threw the chaff from the wheat that was humanity's last call. The eternal vacuum cleaner was coming in to do some end times clea

So said the teacher, who studied the book report handed in by the three-toed sloth who was in 3rd-period English. The report was lousy. But he would pass the sloth; he hated him.

Prince. The Prince fell and laid sprawled on the ground. Success! He pointed and laughed at the Prince, very loudly. "HA HA!" The Prince pulled his face out of the mud and said

ught. Lucy hated that the other her in the mirror had beat her to doing something that she was about to do. Working with mirrors like that was a mindfuck. Lucy was good but it took

terribly focused on my game that I had failed to notice the angry red glow of a fire peaking over the hill. A thick cloud of grey smoke was rapidly blanketing the sky.

"Down low costs extra and that is only if you can afford it", said the guard. When one of the newer guards tried to look away because he didn't want to see, the main guard made him

"I don't know what to do my boy," Dr. Goodfeel said, "Aren't you a lost cause already?". I blinked. I didn't feel lost, I felt empty. The sentence seemed so familiar though as if I

the standard double stretchy super pants instead. It was only a couple days later when I saw that the police apprehended a vigilante wearing them. Humphery spoke to the news camera

It really wasn't, though. It was so simple, even a caveman could do it. Even those idiots at GEICO could do it, AND they could totally offend a real caveman in the process! So that

the Allmighty has chosen me to go to Clown School, so I will go there in a red nose and long shoes and fulfill my destiny as has been decreed. And yea, though I drive in a tiny car

an was sticking to the letter of The Covenant. A covenant that didn't have any provisions, he pointed out, for providing for our "guest demon". Satan mock shocked that we might be

The audience received this information with complete silence. Everyone looked at each and began gesturing wildly, unconsciously mimicking miming movements. It was hard for the

not by a long stretch. She went fancy & became the town wretch. I had to tread water to rise above the stench. I knew it the first time that I saw the wench, my life had found its

hitched a ride with a serial killer who's type I wasn't. He made sure I understood it wasn't him, it was me. "Cool, dude. I like keeping my skin just as much as the next guy." That

-d the odd stale circus peanut and bury them all over the park, then quickly forget where, and just dig frantically everywhere. When spring arrived, my bushy tail had fully grown

for those who wake up still alive. Some of was will not be so lucky. When we wake up we're still dead." Waldo squared his shoulders and went out to confront the army on his lawn.

-mark in the box, and set down my clipboard to take lunch. My limp paper bag was sad and lifeless, and I felt like Keanu out there eating my sandwich and staring at the barbwire

I've walked across this cashmere rug for 12 years & I never knew this door was under it. Behind me the noise of the battle still waged within the walls of the keep. Fine joinery in