the Allmighty has chosen me to go to Clown School, so I will go there in a red nose and long shoes and fulfill my destiny as has been decreed. And yea, though I drive in a tiny car

an was sticking to the letter of The Covenant. A covenant that didn't have any provisions, he pointed out, for providing for our "guest demon". Satan mock shocked that we might be

The audience received this information with complete silence. Everyone looked at each and began gesturing wildly, unconsciously mimicking miming movements. It was hard for the

not by a long stretch. She went fancy & became the town wretch. I had to tread water to rise above the stench. I knew it the first time that I saw the wench, my life had found its

hitched a ride with a serial killer who's type I wasn't. He made sure I understood it wasn't him, it was me. "Cool, dude. I like keeping my skin just as much as the next guy." That

-d the odd stale circus peanut and bury them all over the park, then quickly forget where, and just dig frantically everywhere. When spring arrived, my bushy tail had fully grown

for those who wake up still alive. Some of was will not be so lucky. When we wake up we're still dead." Waldo squared his shoulders and went out to confront the army on his lawn.

-mark in the box, and set down my clipboard to take lunch. My limp paper bag was sad and lifeless, and I felt like Keanu out there eating my sandwich and staring at the barbwire

I've walked across this cashmere rug for 12 years & I never knew this door was under it. Behind me the noise of the battle still waged within the walls of the keep. Fine joinery in

-luminum baron Baron Von Porcelain. Queen leQueef felt that she, as his daughter, should rise from the Porcelain Throne and onto the Aluminum Throne. But first she would have to ki

to the darkest recesses of my mind, to where I feared growing old alone. I heard my voice call out to her, "Yes, yes, please make me buck-toothed, like you!" and then everything

A welt appeared on his face, right where I had caressed it. "OMG!" he yelled, "Did you have raspberry jam on your hand? I'm allergic!" He pushed me away and jumped into a fountain

tambourines slapped and shook their zils, jingling for their dinner of Tom Tom and snares, waiting on some throaty warbler to appear in zoot and spandex, slithering across an alien

Finding Private Frunkl was Spielberg returning to a subject he hadn't had the time to cover in Saving Private Ryan. The revenge aspect of the story took Spielberg out of his wheelh

lodge a successful class action lawsuit! This injustice will not be tolerated!" At the thought of financial compensation, the crowd became far more tolerant of the loud megaphone.

about old maritime family feuds. Sammy was determined to get his "Maritime Surprise" down the gullets of every descendant of the Right Honorable Reverend Smedley Bond, aka Captain

took a bite. "This is a great doughnut" He said. Almost choking on the sugary glazed frosting splashed on the top. His moaning and gasps drew a crowd. I only had 11 doughnuts

t relive because there is no over-the-counter itch relief for metallurgically produced hands. And my hand was gold and couldn't even conduct a two-bit orchestra. I was beginning to

with my buddy Sam, when I remembered he'd been dead for about 8 months now. So there I was, thin hair, thin bank account, dead buddy Sam. Things were really starting to look up.

the big red button. The gun had a button, not a trigger. It was big. And red. The gremlin army tried and tried to push that button, but the giant amalgamated finger just wasn't