He rained down on the gangster like a rhino in a tutu factory. Up until he discovered that the umbrella has distracted his attention from the shotgun the gangster was holding.

Wife #5 just rolled her eyes & said "You're credit limit is pegged on the platinum card. I bought a Lamborghini." Dr. Drinkingstein's clone said "Are we done playing Doctor, Dr.?"

inside her knew she had them. Her army of the Flavored. They all wore her smell now. Some were already calling her the whore of Babylon. They were about to find out how right they

a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. First, the Golden Fold is as delicate as a bubble. Which meant I had to walk oddly to keep the Golden Fold from popping in my toga.

It was Spring. I dressed for Spring. So did she. We went to the mountain. She dance around and sang about the hills being alive with music. Winter came. She had Winter clothing. I

Though, he thought he was in private, he noticed he was being watched. Removing his arm from his mouth, blood dripping. He decided to make his first move. He walked over to..

Before he could finish the trap door beneath collapsed and he fell through the stage. Through his bellow he could hear the audience realize it had been duped. The snakepit below

It was followed by another fancier ketchup bottle. That one in turn, was followed by a very slow moving catsup bottle called Anticipation. Tomatoed by Tommy Tomato and a Roma crew.

morally bankrupt toadstool farmer and the woman who tried, and failed, to love him. Leucous felt himself sufficiently prepared for the role once he'd

in our new lives. What was I? A hot dog vendor. My specialty was a seared, bacon-wrapped sausage in a wheat bun with local ketchup and spicy relish. Crystal? She was a

tty, as he splattered on the ground. Bessie gave three full buckets this time! "I was just feeling generous." she explained. "I wonder if that nerd liked milk?" Betty contemplated.

-tch that couldn't be scratched because her plastic back-scratcher had fallen behind the seat of her math-challenged Kia Soul. As Susan drove fitfully to the dollar store to

writhing across my skin where the bee's venom entered my bloodstream. I kept trying to beat my wings to the beat of the buzzing. I, of course, didn't have wings. It didn't care. An

cused scanning to locate the relic once they breached the walls, even as the sounds of the arrival of enemy air support told them that they never would. They knew they still had to

doesn't work that way. Souperwoman gave him a mirror so he could see the machinery. There was a black shard in the upper left side of his head. He set down his face and reached for

Kicked Romulus & Remus to the curb, went around the corner & collected her friend Bessie, the she goat who weened R. Kelly off of borscht. Together, wolf & goat, are up to the task

Sammy, you can play it for me. I leveled my rifle, watching as Samoan the Duck soared nearer and nearer to the blind. Love at first sight. I scoped in and took the shot.

It hit me all at once, a roaring punch to the Solar Plexus; the roiling, fiery geyser of partly digested waste blowing through the viscera. I changed the channel; it was too late.

below me about how I should have just hired the neighbor kid to clean the gutters. She knew he needed the money for drugs, at least he wouldn't be stealing our... St. Peter cleared

a snowflake setting on a leaf, clinging doggedly to the tree of life. Such a small thing, but enough to send ripples across the fabric of the universe. Awakened by the ripples