Maize fiddled with the field radio until the colonel's voice came in loud and clear, just so Candy could switch it off again. By now, the elephant had led his tribe in a stampede

after which there was a mass uprising of bean counters and chili enthusiasts who rebelled against the government's war on legumes. "WE WILL NOT BE HAS-BEANS!" Not exactly the best

"If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys. I read a book on gravity. I couldn't put it down." The strip club wriggled with laughter but Mo didn't he pulled a gun

phony who would say absolutely anything to part people and monkeys from their money and bananas. Only little Mona the monkey could see through Browning Shartz's trickery. She tried

have to fry this mound of vomit and slowly eat it, while I tase in the eyes" The cop drew his zapper and started to hump the air with anticipation. I saw my cat's life flash before

He watched in morbid curiousity; noting my every change, subtle though it may have been. I went from animated, chatty, namely me...to lowered brows, strained eyes, drooping shoulde

a frightening recruitment strategy that opened employment to all species that could complete an interview. The interview program was modified to accept responses from amoebas, frog

crew answering the Call of Gitche Gumee '. The lake, it is said, never gives up it's dead when the winds of November come early. And here I was with my hair still akimbo. "Answer

Stulta djinni, mi volis ses pakojn ne rubitajn orelojn. Jaguaro ne Gremlin. Parolante Esperanto tamen estas bonega. The genie didn't speak Esperanto but I think he understood by my

-ty Chinese Restaurant over on Cumberland Avenue. It has a label on the bottom. He had wondered what had happened to it and here it was. He looked up to see Mr. Davenderflans with

-istered. King John went outside along the boulevard. He needed to get the taste of pooly cooked meat out of his mouth before anyone smelled his breath. His guards escorted him

"Hey Grandpa, we're even!" I said. "The heck we are," he groused, "I've beat you every game, fair and square!" So I unended the checkerboard and he threw sharp butter at me and we

goblins. Skeletor cackled in delight at He-Man's misfortune,"Ahahaha!" He-Man hollered, "Bonehead!" Neither noticed the livestock re-materializing at Castle Grayskull.

but no hamster would get these luxuries. The best Snuffles got was a silver wheel and nuts on china.He cried and in the middle of the night snuck off with Pinky and the Brain.

with sour cream and artificial bacon bits and points them toward the mountains of mashed potatoes. "Fire!" commands Capt. Blue Cheese, but due to improper lighting, the canons

Ivanka ran through the maze of mirrors looking at her privilege life in comparison to Dobby the house elf. It was horrible and traumatizing. Dobby work ethic was appalling.

Dance Hall would have a special musical nose-hair climbing competition, and Vanessa would put special bows on her nose hair that concealed spikes, to discourage merely athletic

Daddy-O The Big F comin' at ya live on the line...what can I do ya for? Eternal love? 'Twoo Wuv' (He chortles at his own joke) Or just Wham Bam Thank Ya Ma'am?" He was beside himse

the first feline to be elected Mayor of Barack, Omaha. This was not only because he could talk and was smarter than the citizens, but most thought that since his name was Fido, he

-er Laurie shouted from her kitchen window. "I'm tryin'a get this damned thing off my tail!" shouted Pip. "Well, come on over here, I'll hit it with my broom," offered Piper, who