How come they never mention the ugly, mundane bits when they write these biographies? How sloppy was Kepler with his slopjar? Did the Royal College try to decipher Royal skidmarks?

The pimped up peddler just talked the King into buying something called hygienic paper for all the palaces. How much money did he just wipe his ass with? It's my job to pay for it.

Another chilling episode of "Dick of York-Sargent, First Secretary to the Royal Treasurer, Accounts Payable, by Royal decree" over, we started to get ready for bed. I had a quiz in

I was shocked. I tell you, shocked! Shocked that I couldn't remember the love song of the Prufrock fellow. You know the one, the peach eating daredevil & his properly pinned collar

If I gave someone who had never seen a mango a mango they could figure it out. Or so I thought. Then I saw my sister-in-law's step-kid's foster mom's podiatrist's pay stub strewn

Everybody has to be a tool sometimes. An instrument in the invisible fingers of History. It's time we found out what happens after Revelations. Can the prophets distinguish between

It was great having an internationally famous action movie star as a cousin. It really is. Until it is your birthday and she can’t be there with you because she’s winning an Oscar.

I was going to have to venture outside. We were running out of provisions. Who wasn't? No time like the present. I went to the window to peek through the blinds. Where were they?

I had waited too long. The rains were upon us. Even if we could get the house staff to forgo their superstitions the roads will be washed out. Nobody ventured out if the Rain Gods

As the decades wore on, the colonists had to finally admit that there did see to be some truth to the indigenous superstitions about certain rains. Pregnancy rates did take a sharp

By the time anybody thought to look at the data the data had already shown signs of having been affected by something similar to the damage that was being suggested it might have.

Since there was a temporal aspect involved Prof. Loomis had to wonder if they were looking at the cause or of a symptom that she might have already fixed in this way in the future.

Was this a get out of my own way situation? Or was I the first me here, for now? The situation seemed familiar in everything but the particulars. There was the victim. My mother's

"A hand basket to hell please," I called out to the conductor. Who indicated he didn't have the time nor the inclination. I'd have to find some other way to pay my way further. Ale

Sometimes, just the inclination was enough. It was a reinforcement of his judgement in that he had a clue in what the hell he was doing. In that department at least. Plumbing needs

He was already missing not having them as he finished having them. That wasn't bittersweet. No, that was something different. Was it foreboding? I think it was foreboding. Was it?

The problem with questions like that is who's answer are you going to accept? Most of the world sees the question as rhetorical. I obviously exist or you wouldn't have accosted me.

I could be accosting my ghosts. "Well, there you are, I'm a real ghost. Help, I'm being accosted by the living!" And she ran off into the rain. I was still holding her umbrella for

When Sergeant O'Garcia came around the corner, I was the only living in the vicinity. He tases me. I get convicted of accosting the living while living and theft of one umbrella.

"I swear to you, I thought she was a ghost" has to become my new mantra. I know it is a lie but I can't handle the pity when I tell them the truth. She would rather be a ghost than