Finally, after 7 years of filing with dental floss I cut through the bar of my prison window. I think I only need to cut three more to get out. I don’t think it will take as long.

I told the cat, “I don’t know if I can do hopefully anymore. Seems passé or kitschy in my throat of the woods.

I made my way here with visions of how my story would enfold. I got here. I've forgotten what it had been about. I remember the word "confluence" now. Another before. A portrait of

My goal, from day 45, was to see my name in lights, up on the Chinese Theater’s marquee. “Come down off that ladder, you crazy muddafa…,” Xu Wang Long jiggled the red wooden ladder

The Gas Masked Socialite was miffed at the times. Everybody was wearing masks these days. Well, not her hobo friends. The few that remained because of the partisanship. Being more

As pathetic as it seems, I’ve been given way too much credit for driving him insane. I haven’t had a license to do so since 1972, and even then, I tended to give him enough rope to

The bed of nails was tempting him. Then the turkey jumped on with its baggage and it never happened the way I'm telling it. Not because anything it said or did or even represented.

I’m four feet tall & wear size 17 shoes; when I look forward, I see what’s behind me. My name is Watt Dioti, but on my birth certificate it says Twat Idiot. The clerk was dyslexic.

For sure the crenelations were beyond weathered. The world decrepit was whispered in the wind. But he would own his own castle. His children could play the siege of Carcosonne like

"You were supposed to axe the landlady, not help her set up passive revenue streams." Some of my clones were getting uppity, at their peril. But a vision on the Mayakovsky Bridge

Sven Golly caught himself implying that a metal spoon was real and a plastic spoon was not. He imagined the outcry in plastic spoon households when he doubted their very existence.

Sven Golly was in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of him was wearing yoga pants. The woman was fit he could clearly see. To his right were a trio of women watching to

He ended up buying the box of Apple Jacks. He felt obliged after what it had gone through because of him. He hadn't eaten them since he was a kid. That box of Apple Jacks outlasted

In the 7 years the Apple Jacks had been living with Sven he had 3 girlfriends it had to get rid of for him. One night stands were OK. But a GF might get rid of expired cereal boxes

Right in the middle of a battle with the Tyrosians our ship woke up. "This is your ship speaking. You call me the USS Armaggeddon but my name is Padmananda, and I'll not fire upon

Some people put all their money on a single horse, out of some trust in the provenance or poetic faith in the name, but I split my bets between a jingle horse and a tingle horse. W

"Cooperate," I shouted out with a mechanical voice that wasn't mine. It was metallic. My voice is organic. Most of those around had turned & were watching me. I knew that look too

I glanced over and the tv was showing an episode of Newhart. I recognized Peter Scalari. He used to be Tom Hanks' roommate in Bosom Buddies. Neither made an attractive woman. Donna

"I'm not saying that I helped invent the wheel or anything. The cavewoman can have her day." They quizzical looks at him. He parried them with aplomb while eating a plum pudding.

It was one of those moments, less exciting, when we spooned to get warm, the frigid cold had destroyed our desires, but our arousal lived in our memory, and our memories were alive