out the full text of The Treaty of Guadalupe Hildago to the beat of a different drummer since their last tour. I was a lot like you until assimilation. Now all my vocalization

G walked into my black and white color scheme like a snout on the Archon's Gout.

The Gold Bond powder only made it worse. She threw it out the window and some unlucky pedestrians were doused. Their black jackets were ruined! "Son of a bitch!', I said to my wife

The Sea of Green Water, like the Chicago River on St. Patricks Day. That would be really cool! The rivers are sewers nowadays. Maybe I could buy green food colour for the bathtub?

kicked me off the train promptly. So, there I was, traveling alone along the barren train tracks of Poland. Suddenly, like God himself, a ray of light shined on me!

But how could Donny leave now, when his mother was so sickly? Surely without Donny she would take her chance to live with the wolves (as she had always wished to)

just like, a few... minutes! And internet cost... and your time... oh wait I already went over that. Still! As long as you have a computer and internet, you should be able to do it

more interesting and uncomfortable the expectations are ridiculous. Girls expect you to be able to guess the winning lotto numbers and do Chinese math. Who does that in bed? Well

Why did she have to do it so late? Well, money perhaps. Kali's mother wasnt quite of a rich family, but indeed ver father, Mr. Ricodeamor was inmensly huge. That Mother's Day, Kali

So I nucked them like I did in japan and then flew my plane into the Freedom tower in the name of Allah

," I stuttered to the stranger. I can hardly manage to speak or make any contact with people these days. I guess that's because I'm no longer a person, and why the stranger is dead

when the next wise owl would be chosen. There was Lex who was jealous Clark &; Jelly who was codependent on Peanut Butter &; Bill who was in love with Ted. But likely it would be

They play with our emotions; with our hearts; with our epiglottis. Which makes us gag &, we frequently throw up Stardust. Not Ziggy but his secret twin Nigel Stardust. Covered in

Becca was at a loss. Ever since she had been held for ransom she had been told NOT to get any funny ideas. Now her captor seemed to have changed his mind. She racked her brains for

he had imagined were after his food. "Silly Whiskers!" he said, "Purple Monkeys hate tofu, now calm down." And Whiskers would believe him and fall asleep on his feet, pinning him

stepped out into time square wearing nothing but a hot dog bun & sombrero. The baker was humiliated by the Grand Inquisitor & vowed revenge. He grabbed my hand one dark night & we

Their eyes we unblinking, and shrouded in milky white, so that their original colour was barely visible. We stared over the edge of the ship, stuck in that damned coral reef,

species rested on our drunken, sweaty shoulders as we did the blorphan tango - you know, the klrr'vip of two backs, or whatever. When I asked about our future, she shushed me, and

cream and could only sit at its dressing table complaining about its rough, raw dishwashing hands. At first I thought this was an improvement, but after a while it wore on me and I

An attack on the brainwashed masses, but rather a chance to save your soul. Every line folded counts. Every story is unique. Everything for the smorgasbord, including lutfisk.