So Ben Cartwright, now childless, pondered what to do next. He decided to switch networks and join Gunsmoke as Matt Dillon’s sidekick. He’d have to bump off Festus, though. So Ben

They screamed in horror and pain. The portraits couldn't believe what was happening to them. They always got away with gossip. This mad man was the worst guest they've ever hosted.

party. Comet joined in, trying his best to mask his murderous jealousy of Rudolph. Comet even bought him a drink at the bar before dinner. All was going according to plan as Comet

The man in the mirror was mad at having been made: "You f-d up a sting operation that's been months in the making!" He no longer appeared, so my pal reported his reflection missing

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The painting had a horse in it which went on forever, its head wrapped literally around the world like a pac man game, it stood over an infinite lake. It had adoorway, so I entered

up without wearing our wigs that day. It was all the rage in old France to shave your head, as it reduced lice and unwanted suitors. But the chess players thought we were pigs.

A woman walked past me, sporting no trousers and told me that I was being accused of unsportsmanlike biker conduct, and opened up her chest and removed a phone from her ribcage.

but the clinic did not approve of my need for and terms of amputation. It was fortunate that the clinic I go to for sex addiction had a therapist with a degree unlike the hospital

But all around this rodeo there were no clown, just a lot of people that looked remarkedly like clowns. Mel's father was a clown, and more of a lover than a fighter, but that was

I am sorry, clan leader Bamda for interrupting your meditation. You look comfortable there on my rug, in my shag pad, but I am here with a girl. And why did you break in exactly?

“Assume the position, Dr. Smith,” ordered the Robot. “I’m going to get Lost in YOUR Space!” “Don’t touch me, you Horny Hulk! I will NOT bend over!” But the Robot moved toward Smith

western hemisphere on fire, a fire instantly extinguished by the suffocating effect of the fart, along with hundreds of millions of people. This led to the Great Bean Ban of 2032,

rigged them so entering a PIN administered pre-measured doses of Ex-Lax to the monkeys, causing a commensurate number of bills to spray from their butts. These Simian ATMs revoluti

pointed straight down at me. A stream of web shot from my wrist, yanking the pistol out of his hand, along with his hand. Oops. "OWW!" He screamed from the window. His stump gushed

lusty abandon. Four years. That’s how long I sought Trader Joe. I finally found him in his test kitchen, sampling his wares. “Open yer lips and gimme a taste, Joe!” I bellowed. But

planned for next week, and what would Armageddon be without Jesus? The man in the next grave yelled to me. “HEY, some idiot is dancing on my grave!” “I know…it’s Jesus. Just ignore

The crowd gasped. No one ever questioned the Genie, the supreme know-it-all. The Genie grew to massive size and pointed his finger at the questioner. “Dog! Prepare to receive your

But nobody believed the bulge in my swim trunks was the result of auto-inflation. Instead, they rightly recognized the bulge for what it was: a raging hard on. Trying to save face,

with relish. But eating scorpions caused the King of Snakes terrible explosive diarrhea. Not able to give up his scorpion habit, the King put the explosive diarrhea to good use. He