examined the warp drive carefully, then reported to the captain: "They even stuck microphones on the anti-matter containment field! Any idea what they think they're going to find?"

his trusty sidekick, Crusader Koala, as they wandered a hall of mirrors. The Grilled Cheese Maker laughed as Kangaroo and Koala stopped to "reflect" upon their journey. It was time

in what YouTube influencers call "Conspicuous Absorption." It's kinda like conspicuous consumption, but it's where you literally absorb money rather than spending it. Adolf's body

blasted through the windshields of the next four cars before going hypersonic and flying off into space. The tiny shoe broke all speed records and eventually achieved Warp Ten.

, but then he wasn't. He must not have thought, therefore he wasn't.

As I surveyed my surroundings, I noticed that the walls of the amphibioid's stomach were slimy and slick, making it difficult to get a grip. But I refused to give up and started ..

what you got when you dropped out of Disco Clown School. "If you can't pass the class, oh, you don't get the afro." That's what my pappy always told me. The rainbow afro was the

and wept for two whole hours. T'was such a grave loss, that wooly artichoke. It had been the last of its kind. As grief turned to anger, the Star Police approached Whizbang and

His younger sister, a baby in comparison, got the car, the video game systems, the refrigerator (but none of the food), and exactly 1/17th of all of the deceased man's clothing.

-f every January, March, May, July, October and December for each of the last 20 years. And yet, I still couldn't find my son. The AI was smart, but completely unable to help. So I

tongue. They were breathing heavily into eachothers ears. "I want you," she whispered, but suddenly, he froze. He just stopped and put a few steps back. "What are you doing?"

discovered that the phallic steak was not actually steak, but an actual phallus. Bull phallus, specifically. Although I didn't necessarily balk at the idea- it was still better tha

, 1997; it could even generate photorealistic images of her bloated corpse sinking into Lake Superior at 3:26 am, down to the water-tugged ridges that lined the skin of her palms.

that! Rookie mistake. The adversaries locked eyes, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. The cheat was first to break eye contact, gazing at his board, feigning focus.

the liar she thought he was- but no feeble words could convince her. He began to grip tightly to the doorframe, as if in danger of being forced out by a supernatural force.

spleen and a miggy cockle, Hrengor smooshed the dig spider's faze wid a Hummer, thin blooger his comparnyam bonwle tbwob24323,. "CUT!" The director was furious. "Fix that damn

What the-- Who, what? I can't... no. What the heck... Why? It's... argh! WHAT THE... I can't even! It's just... what the! Why the ... Geez, wtf man! I mean, who the...

There was no room left for pie. He wolfed down so much cake that somehow he got indigestion. He needed to find a bathroom immediately, but after running across the entire place, he

Actually, maybe don't. Our solutions are half-baked. You'll only get halfway there with us, so call us half the time if you like doing things by half measures, if you've got half a

For you see, in my country of origin, it is forbidden to meditate on the rug of another without first offering a burnt sacrifice to the Elder Gods. I do not see any such offering.