for lowercase letter of the year! Misa and Kumi each received a lowercase letter asking them if they'd heard anything from the manager since COVID. But SOMEONE must be footing the

scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked

found to my dismay the school had been placed under lockdown for credit card fraud. As typical, the students are the ones to suffer here, and only three of us don't deserve it.

Gregor. Gregor the talking tardigrade. He eats the dandruff from your eyebrows to help you see your way to a better tomorrow. He also screams the word "VAGINA" from time to time.

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

heard the radio start blaring music by Sonny Bonobo, she knew she had to give up the fight. If only she learned some gravity spells, she wouldn't have tripped over her magic wand.

held out a palm for a quarter for the bus, but the man just backed out of the bathroom, out of the restaurant, out of the parking lot, and into the Marshall's across the street for

customer at Marshall's, with brand new men's summer fashions fresh in stock. He could look good AND feel good this summer by taking advantage of Marshall's Midsummer Sale! And the

had a hell of a time at customer service. Next time, I would be sure to do my shopping at Marshall's, for the tasteful environment at affordable prices. Gifts for Father's Day were

up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She

"Will you cover me in Marmite and feed my trousers to your orangutan?" Soze knew she shouldn't have eaten all those oysters. "BARFBARFBARFART," she told the Queen of Canada. "BARFA

I pooped in the koi pond behind his Azalea bushes. Over the next week, his koi began to die off, and I felt awful, but Mr. Kneifer deserved it, the dirty pinko peeping tom. From

helping the customer find the right outfit for him, just like at Marshall's. This entire seasonal ensemble only costs $59.99, but there's more! We also have beer cozies that Dad

The news anchor, Ken Swimsperm, was infatuated with Leviathan's colossal gustatory capacity, and found ways to work him into every report he delivered. "Here I am in no man's land,

point out interesting cloud shapes in the skies. The news anchors gaped in silence at my weak attempts to construe fluffy frogs and lumpy bunnies from the darkening cumulonimbi.

Then the vegetarian PCP fiend made a gorgeous salad for all his PCP fiend friends in the alley. It had been a very unhealthy day for the nudist lettuce, but a very healthy day for

or just leap down? Better safe than sorry. If she had accidentally ingested the canine feces under her fingernails, her life might as well be forfeit. She leapt, spreading her arms

He then engaged the four grannies in a laborious flashback to his time panning for ice in the Martian boonies. Then he was hit by a golf cart going at 2 kph. WHY ARE YOU MEOWING

I'd been dicking with them for years, sending them random telepathic thoughts for shits and giggles without telling them it was telepathic communication. "Kill yourself," was my

to nobody. Yuri watched drunkenly as Lavrov puked right there on the middle of the floor, then added, "And that dead dog smell is coming back again." Arms on shoulders, they sang