I looked at her and wondered. "Who did she think she was?". I noted to myself that Mary Jane and Stella were doing their job. I was chill. Gears were turning. The pipes were open.

After a moment of blank stares, the slender beings exchanged glances."Sprechen Sie Englisch?"Then, the summoners suddenly sneezed. "Gesundheit!" "Are you....*sniff*....aliens?"

The pitcher of light can only be hidden under the bed for a short while. "Tell me about it," say his friend from HK. "Better sign off and shut off. F*cking American Nazi-Stalinists

Yeah. Oh yes. It almost seemed as if everything was significant and nothing was significant at the same time. There was an unnameable quality to that moment. My significant other

A plasticoid nephew from some future and a lineage I would not have anticipated somehow rallied the styrofoam beans in my bean bag chair to gently get me back on my feet. I was

not my wallet, but I was having a bad day. "Yes!" I lied, smiling at the kind stranger, taking the wallet. Another mistake. The world turned pink. "BE WHO YOU WANNA BE, B-A-R-B-I-E

I know what this is about you naughty simka. You're in need of D." B looked up from his not quite empty glass just as the jukebox started to play "Hey" by the Pixies. The cowboys

the realm of the ankle-biters. "What the hell, man?! Why not just bite me in-situ?" The dragger explained: "I drag, they bite. It's a division of responsibilities." So I asked him:

took a turn for the worse when, following a failed pop career, it agreed to a tell-all interview with Louis Theroux. A low point, yes—but also a turning point, a moment of clarity.

my feather duster lacked an ionic-attraction switch -- but really I was just fooling myself and unwilling to admit that I had cut my Finder friend Jeremy out of my life all because

Which had me thinking it was pretty cool of Star Trek to introduce the concepts of "Phasers on Stun" and "The Vulcan Nerve Pinch" as alternatives to

Terrified but polite, Andrew curtseyed, offered a coupon for tofu, and whispered, “I’m allergic to both weighing and spam.” A tuba sounded ominously.

Spammers got you down? Our galactic network of psychic adjusters can help -- but they need your help, too! They volunteer to remain half-incarnate for your benefit, but they need

OK, so I had forgotten my cultural-appreciation lessons and ingested the extended hand of the human ambassador from Earth without thinking. I did extend my second-best appendage,

"A Summer Place" was the soundtrack for me and my buddies' road trip as we bumped along over the still smoldering and twitching corpses of the Constitutionalists. We guzzled our

I mean, what was not to love? Well, clearly a lot, especially from the way his eyes were still staring daggers at me.

Tony and Jill tried to prank Miss Williams by replacing her chalk with the Devil's Chalk they had found in their grandmother's attic. However, Miss Williams had anticipated such a

a fluffy menace to social order in Hong Kong. Labubu is wise and flirtatious in public, but in private speaks ancient Cantonese. Labubu likes to have tea with the police, just to

Mrs. Humphries nearly broke her cue stick against the blackboard. "Are you summer students even ready to join this game?" (Secretly she wondered if she had misjudged

herever, whenever! We were meant to be together!" A booming voice rattled the walls. Aunt Myrtle closed her eyes, a single tear escaping. "You've summoned her," she whispered.