Universe from self imploding. It is a matter of when, not if." Neil de Grasse -Tyson had read the warnings at his email account. He was not prepared at all to be a cyborg, but the

the morning's events. I did not get far though because I kept coming back to that one moment when it all went sideways on me. The moment when I opened my eyes; the moment I awoke.

this new philosophical territory. There was no question what the frontside looked like, any freshman philosophy student could describe the frontside, but the backside must be

bolster the lumbering police state than to... He never did figure out how that sentence ended because just then he was called to take his driving test by Officer Imelda Paz.

sashayed seductively into the Swinging Simian Social Soire and Salon where he was quickly Shanghai ed like last week's summer sausage and bound for ports unknow.

2 0 to leak from his eyes. Picking up steam at the flare of the nostrils and then careening into the canyonlike lip fold, the saltiness seeping past his pursed lips to tickle his

The Chief Llama called for an independence referendum for the elephants and cows. There was a rally at Fountain Square, where the Chief Llama spoke:

Was that any reason to torment them further? So they took their cause to the streets, carrying signs that said : "Abnormal Americans Need Gloves to Cover Their Hideous Hands".

"I don't believe in caning anything, that's too violent, but I suppose I could live with reins, if you must," muttered Hilda the Horse. Frankly she was surprised that anyone had

But alas, no intact feathers could be found. We did, however, have plenty of clowns. The Creepy Tent down the lane had been producing them at alarming rates. So we glued clowns

and paper cups of tepid chai latte with what used to be our initials in the foam. The universe looked at me, and I at it, and gradually the caffeine kicked in and

hammers on his bench util the cleaning lady gave them to charity. Jenkins the Leprechaun was not feeling too lucky at this point, and prayed for a rainbow under which he might

They grew six kinds of grapes and used old French recipes. The Chardonnay was especially succulent on a hot July day. What to name it? Colonel Rumplecheeks suggested

Completely renovate the living room so the kids could play Pokemon Go without having to go outdoors and risk being run over by a car because their heads were always down.

obliterated from the page I wrote on from the sheer acidic makeup of my breath at the time. "God, that dip was ferocious", I said to Wolfie, whose face melted even as I spoke.

Apparently, that was the only place where anyone had freedom in the Post-everything era. There was no central bank there, ever, nor were there any food riots. They read the Onion.

direction until it lands in Tiny Tim's ukulele, which counts as a double score. Triple, if you can get Tiny Tim to open a winery with you. Reggie was determined to win this, but

him to in drag to protect his identity. Lionel was uncomfortable in the heels, but found the tube top to be rather freeing, in a way. Jenny was always pulling this sort of stunt

life on the planet, but were still struggling with developing their own written language and couldn't agree on spellings, which considerably slowed their progress. Blyrk decided

So Xe crawled under the cinema seats in search of dropped change with which to buy more candy. What he found there was a whole under-seat world inhabited by chewed gum people and