"No Alice," the alien faces explained, "here in Wonderland breaking a mirror is 13 years bad luck. " Alice sobbed nothing here makes sense. "No they make dollars," Chershire Cat ex

for the show to begin these Laotian ladies of the night ready to please, however this "establishment" had a surprise fetish for us they would involve a rather unique blend of both

Betty's soul was drifting above me as I claimed my reward and ads the trophy entered my hand lighting struck it. No meal made from my best friend could undo the eternal judgement.

As Medi Ocre noone expected anything from me. They were surprised when I was an over achiever. "Better to wow them with better than average than let them down with under great."

and stockings. "Now I have some real news to report on Mr. President!" <Trump tackles female reporter in a sexual assault triste!> "FAKE!" he declared despite video evidence. But

-odgrass was mortified that the nurses would leave him with the mess. "Not so fast," said Dr. Snodgrass as he grabbed a nurse by the scruff of the neck, "you clean this up."

I was any passenger! I jumped up from my seat and using my unscrupulously gotten talent of lock picking I opened the door. I grabbed the only parachute. "See ya later suckers!" I

She started on the floor. "All you have to do is had out samples without spilling the substance on the floor. It used to be a floor cleaner and we turned it into pop. I can corrode

posited, the orange pulp freshly consumed - along with the gallons of water she had had to drink to bring out the o.j. - gurgling merrily within her. "I'm off to the loo!"

AIGEE caught site of her mid destruction of the Earth speech. She was large and lovely and wore a "I love Alien Rock" T-shirt. His plan dribbled from his ear. All he felt was love.

I always loved surfing the waves at Chernobyl Beach. Mostly because I could sneek through the barbed wired fences and use the toxic's sludges glow to see at night. I have the beach

like anchovy caviar on salt pork...or is it saltpeter?" Of course he knew if there was even a trace of saltpeter inside a booger shot out of his arse that it was Guinness Nitro IPA

zzy drunk in a hard hat and half molded skort. Smiled at him, "You the escort I hired on getacheapdate.com?" My dad's a billionaire and I hate these schmoozy parties." I had a job.

"Chunky?" I hate when they call me that. Manny the Manatee munched on his lettuce sandwich and watched "My 600lb Life" He chuckled. "600 pounds, hehhh." That's nothing compared to

"Horatio Horny Blower" About a Semen Captian, "There Will Be Sperm" About a very angry sperm donor center owner and my favorite

only God saw this, He would be quite aggravated, then they realized that He is always watching.

face into his shirt. "I love you, Josh." I said, voice muffled by the fabric. He gave a disgusted look. "You're 25, and I'm 15. You can't love me." He shoved my hands away. I star

abandon; like drinking milk from human skulls and pouring kitty litter in human toilets so we can sit for a change... this always gunks up the human's plumbing... what a bunch of

they all piss their pants. It's funny! It's also true." These rednecks eyed Lawrence up and down, tanking him for a city slicker. Little did they know he was once a survival expert

ability to slow time down to a standstill. Summer camps could do that to you, but this was caused by someone else. He was a time traveler and a young immortal, and he could kill.