"Alright, let's go." Said the arresting officer to the janitor. The janitor wiped his nose and asked if he could bring an extra tissue. "F-f-f-for my p-pproblem snee-sneezing." he

Pasha, Sasha, Vasha, Kasha, Lara, Sara, Mara and Clara were sitting at a nearby table gratis gift cards from a certain Mr. K, and so they overheard The Elders discussing the Spring

h made her a formidable predator. Madeline took chunks out of everyone who dared to cause her grief. The trash man who failed to show for a week due to flu had holes a up his arm.

the night, I took time to show my extra spirally super slip-n-slide glide. Surely now Helga would be impressed. Her manly he boobs heaved with delight or was that with

on the biscuits he had left out for them. "What are you waiting for Mr.Uzu?" they would ask the skeletal man. With great mystery and coolness, he would reply, "My little worms, I

lla fan. Mussels are a huge turnoff. In fact they make me yak, I said. The agent kept a straight face while elbowing his way into the kitchen and eyeing my large pan collection.

She said "You were adorable, but your opinions were trash. I didn't raise you to spew such nonsense on the internet." Thus Seamus, now ashamed, made his own channel to apologize.

Then royal blue, the kitchen changed colour as needed. This was one side effect of the valium my mum took to cope with having to watch CNN all day. My dad watched only one channel.

She blushed furiously and nearly fainted, had it not been for the husbando catching her in his arms, just like in her fanfics. "I thought you were a figment of my imagination..."

and taking part in political mudslinging on Fecebook, his master Ned called the vet. "Dr. Quacken bush, my dog thinks he's a person," Ned explained, "He has applied for a mortgage

's cat. It was about that time when Egyptians started hating cats, that Prince Ahmed swore to protect them all. He became the Superman equivalent of the cats, saving them from the

Traveled on it's stomach. It was an army if Hutts and Bartocks. Badoo called them his freedom fighters. If true then Hutts were not always demons.

movements and worried glances graced the place of residence until Amburo further reassured his neighbor that everything would indeed be alright. Baby steps, my friend

"Look at Randy Orton, slitherin' - " "WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!" "RKO!!!"

He watched in morbid curiousity; noting my every change, subtle though it may have been. I went from animated, chatty, namely me...to lowered brows, strained eyes, drooping shoulde

itzer tanks worked... with force! I rolled over Erin like an invading dictator and ordered her to surrender the details of the shift. "I only work the night shift... I swear!" she

The ghost of his elementary school crossing guard told him to add Trump driving the car that ran over the unicorn and he'd be able to sell it for millions to the New Yorker. Tony

The pampered jury looked at me with disgust and readied his tennis racket. He flung it into the air and bought it down like the hammer of justice he was; the ball was in my court

I could still voice an opinion or two, expect three meals a day and if I were really lucky, there may be a scratch behind the ears and the acknowledgment of my good boy-ness. I cou

and ended up waddling down a low tunnel with a poor excuse for a sword in my hand. We were losing the light. Suddenly-, I was listening to the priest in his office again. "Justific