#20. Dance like nobody's filming you with their smartphone. #21. Nap whenever the chance presents itself. #22. Always say 'please' and 'thank you' to the people who pay you. #23

They grew six kinds of grapes and used old French recipes. The Chardonnay was especially succulent on a hot July day. What to name it? Colonel Rumplecheeks suggested

and paper cups of tepid chai latte with what used to be our initials in the foam. The universe looked at me, and I at it, and gradually the caffeine kicked in and

Or so I imagined would be the if I HAD an oustide. We stopped having those around two centuries back. That was when they "remembered" magick was involved or some such twaddle. We

hammers on his bench util the cleaning lady gave them to charity. Jenkins the Leprechaun was not feeling too lucky at this point, and prayed for a rainbow under which he might

Was that any reason to torment them further? So they took their cause to the streets, carrying signs that said : "Abnormal Americans Need Gloves to Cover Their Hideous Hands".

"I don't believe in caning anything, that's too violent, but I suppose I could live with reins, if you must," muttered Hilda the Horse. Frankly she was surprised that anyone had

shot a giant balloon full of milk at the Green Man Group. This caused the Indigo Man Group to explode into a pile of cardboard body parts (all indigo). The Orange Man Group then

"When the tornado hit," I recounted "I was able to survive by getting into my Fiat 500 and driving." Most people found it hard to believe but I didn't want to out drive the tornado

the morning's events. I did not get far though because I kept coming back to that one moment when it all went sideways on me. The moment when I opened my eyes; the moment I awoke.

police. They wouldn't listen, against all my protests, and threw me in jail. I didn't even do anything. A week later, the officer walked in holding

2 0 to leak from his eyes. Picking up steam at the flare of the nostrils and then careening into the canyonlike lip fold, the saltiness seeping past his pursed lips to tickle his

sashayed seductively into the Swinging Simian Social Soire and Salon where he was quickly Shanghai ed like last week's summer sausage and bound for ports unknow.

knew this but conveniently forgot it all the time whenever they hung out together. Enrique and Justin Trudeau went back a long time. They'd met on the pitches of the Plains of Abra

bolster the lumbering police state than to... He never did figure out how that sentence ended because just then he was called to take his driving test by Officer Imelda Paz.

host, Steve Buscemi, made a toast to the idea of making a real life battle royale, and the Bilderbergs held their glasses up high while cheering and laughing. Comrade Cameron

He needs that as a supplement to his recovery. He may heal faster if he has her love.

Universe from self imploding. It is a matter of when, not if." Neil de Grasse -Tyson had read the warnings at his email account. He was not prepared at all to be a cyborg, but the

"A General Theory of Oblivion". He was reputed to be a poetaster, so the audience didn't hold their breath. The Poetaster Council nominated for book of the year. But we digress...

left the Basilica." That was kind of John Cleese to do. I pined for the fnords and a swath of Stinking Bishop cheese. I spied his double cello. Mr. Stein wasn't done with me yet.