in a plate of spaghetti, ruining his pants. Everyone laughed, none harder than Hermina Belinda Hunsucker herself. She knew that she and her Donut Party would win the presidential

"That means you're taking the option to leave it? Because that is the way it works here. Take it or leave it. You Norse gods are always this way. Except Baldur. I loved Baldur. We

that wasn't a hooker like all these other mooks planning on driving into the desert for some 2am sightseeing. It's bad enough when you take them alive let alone dead with your face

Donna O'Hale - TV presenter of the greatest cooking show alive ruined my childhood. She made such delicious food that I can't even move from my couch even if I wanted to. I try so

Head in Assery Achievement Award, the most minor award this nation can bestow on people without money or influence. Its winners often find themselves raised to the highest offices.

But Mucky and Lucky's hamster brains were small and squishy, and all they could come up with was to cover the cadaver in wood chips, which made it less visible, but no less

were held out in front of her because even with the fire to light the way she couldn't see a thing. Those behind her didn't know this though. She'd looked so confidant. Like she kn

Hoped. Mainly because Banksy gets all the press. Or the local taggers who don't remember their roots. Simple always gets complicated without roots. We come from the stars, why here

"THERE, RIGHT THERE, that is why we cancelled your book deal. A real pirate would have said scuttled! The truth is sir, that you are not a pirate & nobody ever bought that pegleg!"

"So which one is the man and which one the woman?" she asked. I laughed knowingly and shook my head. "They're both male AND female!" I exclaimed. At this, the two slugs turned

Out in the open he went, Winne the Pooh was not looking.

would notice that I had no rhythm. I had perfected the psuedorhythmic progression. But this floor tile that is stuck to my foot is dampening the effects of my random number generat

child again, and as equally clueless as to whom the father was, as ever. But I had an inkling that it must have been an artists, since we all had sketchbooks full of intricate

The website design and the censors. The latter have been coming after us with meat cleavers, dressed like Lady Gaga, whom we cannot stand.

ife on board with it too? It feels wrong to take a train when you don't know where it's headed. I could be a trap. Are they waiting for us to make a mistake? Is this why the sugges

-n half neatly, wrapped it in deli paper and handed it to Death. "You want a Coke to go with that sandwich?" he asked Death, but the hooded figure shook its cranium and went to sit

Es que, mi translatero es embelcile. No sabe lo que esta pasando oy. Aqui en esto mundo suyus com muchas palletas del comida para la raza des sus patronia. Les ofero SURRENDER YOUR

resolution in keeping with their final wishes. Final wishes that were revealed not by the zombies themselves but by their surviving relatives or spouses. That system was rife with

They made a difference, en masse, when they all walked out of the theater demanding Vaudeville be brought back but with an understanding of current cultural mores & sensibilities.

Not out of the woods yet, Bo bopped where Jo hopped. Who soon dropped her cropped top top in mid hop. Instead of a flop, our worth shot up. Bo continued to boohoo how things worked