n enormous amount of bitcoin; enough for Dr. Goodfeel to take Nurse Ratched for a ride on his hobbyhorse, get her to invest in Poxagone, give the Poxariffic some free advertising.

scars on his arms was still in the "I only want to suffer, not exit" stages of depression, asked if anybody had seen his phone. Uh-oh. I called Vivienne on her new cell phone and

flying cars, and social consciousness! Yes, the people of my new universe were to be technologically advanced, and STILL pay taxes! I was going to win at this game, and so would

to the garish sun, and all the infernal orb rewards them with is a glaze of skin cancer." Mr. and Mrs. Centipede clicked their poison pincers together amidst the mushroom patch.

decided to mix it up by using a different search engine. Becca had always felt the constraint of not being able to use Altavista anymore. The hits she got on "twerking xenomorphs"

So she was and doing so atop her lyre. Hence, the cacophony we'd taken for a LARPcore anthem. I turned to Raulf. "They don't get out much," I said. A cleric hailed me from anon. Ll

Across town, Morley was in stiletto heels & dominatrix gear. "Ebenezer Spooge! These chains I forged in a leather bar! Expect the first sexy ghost when the sexy bell tolls sexy!"

shook the house off its foundations. He had no choice but to step into my carefully constructed trap. "The best trap is the one that looks like freedom." He'd drawn the final card

'cause one of those would look fabulous in the rumpus room! I just HAD to get in touch with Cthulhu's interior Dagon-ators on lace trim and camping up these lampshades! Campshades!

iccan board of health that the valueless flatulent diadems were not genuine Apple products. Apple, strangely, soon unveiled their new iSnapple: "Snapple, but owned by Steve Jobs!"

He had to log down those white water rapids by ten, by thunder. Thunder was what his kids called his flatulence, which he preferred to term, "angels bowling". "GUTTER BALL!" he

ng slopes on Powder Ridge, which was where they found the governor of Alaska hiding out after her jenkem meth lab exploded. Suddenly, the author suffered a fatal heart attack. The

" Rosie's voice said, from under a pile of rubble. George dug frantically for a few minutes before he found Rosie's head. He propped it up on an ancient alien TV stand. It crackled

"Well, I think it comes down to how much of a bitch you want to come off as on your first day at a new job," her stylist suggested over Magnum bars. She poured ouzo from another mo

-gal growth from Lego's unwashed socks had spread onto the fake Spock ears he used to wear to Star Trek conventions. But now he had no head to attach them to. He would have wept,

began the ancient chant to summon the administration to come fix all the bugs cropping up in the site. It mostly consisted of listing compound words including the word "cock", then

Somehow, he did not think this OkCupid meetup was going very well. He spun around on his heels to try and sneak out, but there was Richard, smoking a joint and reeking of vodka.

ripped the outhouse off its feet, and the ferocious high-speed projectile Booboo spawned was enough to ignite the fuel to the speeding car, which resulted in another explosion. "Uh

utum. Now no one could stop him and his stando, King Crimson, who had a tiny face on top of his face that went "bleedleedleedle" when he glad, he mad, or he sad. A big red nose day

cried both of the Cojoined sisters as they checked into the dial-in orphanage. But life became nicer for Fifi and Deedee, after that. They met a nice boy with a parasitic twin.