The Land of Goshen wasn't all its brochure cracked it up to be. It's hard to take any sort of writing service seriously if they use a sans serif font. Eileen was leader of Goshen,

an over the shoulder comment to the widows she'd just made of them. When they stared at her she got angry. "To your duties, NOW!" "I'm captain of a ship of widows that I made," she

Seriously, we should just eradicate the entire simian family, save for humans. All monkeys do is eat your children's brains and shit all over the place. Brain them with a hammer, I

decided yes, leave him to drown in soap, choking to death on the bitter flavor of Tide and the solve-everything taste of Bleach. Francis skipped down the street as the house filled

Nightly, he would go to the cemetery and gaze at the unmarked grave that he knew held both his life's work and his only legacy. He would have fever dreams the pooh bear rising out

hygienist. Tooth care from a beak? What'll they think of next? The albatross'll probably regurgitate in my mouth when he puts me under. Gross. I hate all birds and hope they die.

"Because they can't taste. It has been bred out of the Aralian ruling classes," said a man none of us had ever seen. We would have remembered him. He had green hair & orange eyes.

and the drug-fueled haze of slumming it. Think about it--we have gay BARS, but no gay libraries, gay cafes, etc. Bar culture is ingrained in us; alcoholism and dipsomania. Why do

his balls in the La Brea tar pits. Admiral Bucky Fularine needed to find them, stat, and find time to give Lee Fletcher a court martial. So long as the court martial was catered.

"How unseemly of me," he said as he thumbed the mildewy seam. Trying to rub the mildew away. Then he noticed a bit of honey stuck on the back of his paw. He had a Big Appetite. But

om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight

at the next table. "Just look at those two: drinking tea, holding hands -- so sickening!" thought the crypto killer before she finally got fed up and left the bistro in a huff. The

"Yes, you did. And I happen to be an owl," said the windshield cleaner as he climbed into the passenger side and demanded $25. The man stared at his open talon and gave him the

aralyzed psychotropic philodendrons philanthropists placed perpendicular to the poop plainly parked by pyromaniacs parodying our prime portal of our palace. "Pppppt!" Passing putts

at the presidency of the emerging second Confederation States Of America. Archangel Better Davis sent archangel Jimmy Stewart coy fiery letters of the Unholy Spirit. Countersigned

deals on overpriced gifts that nobody wants. I bought two bags of them and sent them to Jon Pertwee as a thank-you for the hovercraft. He smashed them to bits and sent them back.

Would you explain to him why there is so much rampant plagiarism in Asia, particularly in so-called communist countries that claim to despise the western hordes? No, my brother, I

ion, and a flurry of punches. You ever been in a storm, Benny? A storm of fists, raining down on you? You ever get hit on by an undercover cop in drag? Huh? You ever eat dragon,

all because God's bladder burst. And God, while you're up there, would it kill you to put on some underpants? Everyone can see up your robe. Then OK K.O. jumped in and ate everyone

used, the lecherous snowman sculptures my wife had made melting under the summer sun. The next Farside comic hit me: Two men camping. One mistakes a snake for his sleeping bag.