no mockery of those still mourning the death of Old Mars, no salad-bombing of the ChloroHipsters, no Aspie-taunting of the AiMod companions -- let's just make merry and try to

And it's school photo day!" I tried to comb my hair in the rest room mirror, but the ooze had covered it by then. I hoped that the ooze would hide my pimples as I slithered to the

in our new lives. What was I? A hot dog vendor. My specialty was a seared, bacon-wrapped sausage in a wheat bun with local ketchup and spicy relish. Crystal? She was a

was grimacing in her easy chair, embroidering a demonic elf tea cozy and muttering about leaving the oven on and ruining the cookies

"...like no one ever was." Air whipped his hair as he sped down an empty road. Just a biker, a road to nowhere and nostalgia."To catch them is my real test..."

her. It landed at her feet in a pile. She looked at it & then up at me, shrugged & walked away. The scavengers of the neighborhood quickly made short work of the body parts she lef

"Hey Grandpa, we're even!" I said. "The heck we are," he groused, "I've beat you every game, fair and square!" So I unended the checkerboard and he threw sharp butter at me and we

socks in the other. My friend, as much as I can piece together, tried to be practical and went into the shower to wash off the vomit and blood and psychic detritus that The Eye had

blow bubbles and distract the entire addlepated crowd of inept politicians. The Dick Cheney impersonator was no exception and feel in line with the crowd mean while catwoman came i

a cold dish for the homeless guy that lives behind the building. That has got to be a bunch of bull shit. You're 14. You know better. That other you will be happy. Why can't you?

ty-six flights of agonizing stairs, winding in the precarious fashion. Spikes and thorns and thistles and flames to endured with each new landing. I had grown weary of the dark

faster than Anna Nicole Smith on TrimSpa pills. So he opened a chain of restaurants that featured food fried in his own excess fat and called them Colonel Fried Tidbits. He had to

a heart shaped key and two nickles with letters engraved in them that matched the letters on the eyes of the rare robot. Since I could not open the panel right away I looked for lu

detain sharks that broke into fish hospitals in search of blood and whales that sang too loudly after 11pm. It wasn't an easy job, but Det.Manatee wouldn't have done anything else

h a snap of her sharp white teeth & waving at the cheering crowd of snakes, hawks, owls, & eagles. Her family was standing, waving wildly as she, Miss Mustela Weasel was crowned

I smiled widely. The woman sitting across from me in the small room shrunk back. "So, Mr. Grayson, when did these thoughts first occur?" she asked, regaining her professionalism.

caper orgy. I never participated but I got off just the same. The next morning no questions were asked so no lying answers had to die. The orgies celebrated being alive & helped re

him well enough, so I had to deal with his horrendous dad jokes for the rest of the night. When he walked into the room, he immediately started scanning the room for a table to

," began Granpa. We interrupted him with "No, that was Granma." "Well, when I died of yarn poisoning," he started again. "No, Granpa" we said, "that was Granma, too. " The old man

"A warrior." I said offering a hand to console him. "This is what we have to do. They started this war so we have to end it or become a part of the casualties." I smiled softly.