(And it was a very long nose, indeed.) The New Elephant Man earned millions with his perfume business. But as he sat in his Tuscan villa, looking out at the vineyards with his

felt my mind spiralling, sinister, sinestra, left, right, wrong... What did it mean, what could it mean? Part of me knew I was letting him get to me, but a larger part of me didn't

her tired, strained soul. After the first tink of the pair's martini glasses, she knew everything was going to work out, ungrateful men be damned. She was lucky to have Ben.

and then, suddenly and without warning, they burst forth from within me like that scene in Alien. My goo went everywhere and I gasped as the king and emperor crawled out

The cherry bombs were set to go off at precisely 20:00 hours, just as dessert was to be served to the guests. I realised he'd planted them at 19:56 and had 4 minutes to defuse the

dead to me. Dead. Just a bag of untrustworthy bones." Vlad was shocked at Det. Manatee's words but could not budge his mental bonds as he was led into a cell. "I hope you get the

flies because I'm so fucking gay that I don't even recognize what's a fly" Then Tom the Toad proceeded to hop to the sea while thinking about his life choices that may cause really

prophets I could find in my cows. Their milk gave me prophetic visions that I was easily able to bypass until only me as King of the World played out. I killed futures left & right

of a disrespectful coward not accepting bravery and honor made many people hate Tony. After all, the war was worth fighting for. Tony still refused using cowardly statements.

"Not me", said Johnny, "I want a pepper sprout. What about you Arnold?" Arnold considered the question while chewing on a cigar. He looked at Hector, who wanted more murder. "We

hand before I do someone a nuisance. Everyone wants to be magical, but few of us have the presence of mind to control ourselves with it, and so it must be restricted to those who

I stopped, turned, and pimp-slapped Phil into next Tuesday.

After filing an addendum to the contract, I was allowed to leave but I had to take the ghost of Margaret Thatcher with me. She was peachy and wanted to help my personal life by

It wasn't long before an execution had begun. Blood splattered across the wooden floor, similar to the Devil's skin. Marina was now on the floor, in pieces. The audience laughed.

still knew and made use of the concept of a bug-out bag, but she was iffy re: the cultural refs and memes of the day, which was also liberating in its way. Anyway, man down and she

turtleneck sweater!” Jan pointed out to Dean where the zombie had taken a chunk out of his neck. “I know”, said Dean, “but what of my turtleneck, is it fixable?” “It’s covered in y

which wasn't actually wrong, but was just different from what everyone was expecting him to do. How can something be wrong when the rules haven't been clearly defined? You might

-ead. With SlimWhitman conveniently out of the way, MoralEnd easily took over the FS white house with Flopp as VP and DansaniLife as house speaker. m80 was appointed counselor to

ed rye was getting pretty twisted, (if you know what I mean). I mean, my GOD that bonnet was simply a revelation! How any mere mortal red-blooded man could resist against its simpl

mixed with beer and toothpaste. Disgusting or not, this was the challenge and to hell with losing! "Drink, drink, drink!" the crowd was growing louder and more demanding,