-cking at invisibility, and that was me. I held back a titter as he glanced around the room for some clue as to where I'd gone, and slipped through the door as he called my name.

some more and aspic. "And aspic?" Riiip! The music came to a jarring halt. Everyone stared at me. "yeah, um, well, you said it isn't Jello in my dish but some sort of "and aspic"?"

No... that’s not it. It looks like... the goose shot you? But... that has to be wrong. The goose squawks, but the squawk sounds like a language. “I caught a big one, Fred!”

just as high as she was. Although Alice didn't know that the 'Mad' hat and the Cat were flipping tripping, she thought it strange that they had blank stares as she pacing.

or, a less subtle approach. I increased my gait almost comically to take a large stride. My legs continued to sweat and my rectal wad still moments to explode. Not in the elevator

shouted back, "Well it depends on what type of tongue you have. A tiger can probably get to the center in 5 licks, on account of their sandpaper-like tongue." My tootsie roll

mathemagician. Her father was a huge fan of the rhythm method because of his professional obsession with predictive statistics and such. He even knew when my cat would give birth!

That turned out to be wrong when Manatee turned the note around to find out it had been written on the back of an instant picture of Boingeaux the Clown being murdered by Crazo the

i was making a clean getaway all of the moment I let go of the window sill. The moment the sheets took my full weight the knotts started working themselves loose and I chafed my th

upset with my for eating them because they began pecking at the inside of my stomach with their hard-to-digest ostrich beaks. So I swallowed an alligator to eat them so that they

favored the swarthy types. Without the anchovies though there was nothing for the mustard to do but simply sit there on the table between the salt shaker and the water glass.

jar of Nutella and watched endless episodes of FRIENDS. Friends, and employment, were just what my reclusive millennial children needed. So I dragged them by the collars and took

Because everywhere I went from then on, mirror me had visited just previously, and made a mess of things as an act of defiance. People punched me for no reason when I walked into

He turned until he could turn no more. She stopped him before he passed out. She said "You've been turning for the past 1 hour." "I know" he said. "I might not have a million dolla

The trout tried harder and harder, not knowing what was to come. Suddenly, a tornado struck hard and fast, leaving no time for the trout to escape in the storm filled with sharks.

bang. It wasn't until I heard the loud bang on my end of the receiver that I knew that Turly Curd had blown himself up in his own shower. At least he had gone clean. But now that

what appeared to be the world's most filthiest pile of used underwear ever left to rot. I didn't need to look at the wretched lump of putrescence long before a small wiggling bega

shake it until it explodes?". The scientists agreed and together, joining forces with that demon, shaked the machinery. Instead of exploding, it turned the gravity upside down and

drug her, with the pill crushed and mixed into Jello Pudding. Cosby even agreed to play one of his comedy CDs for her while he did the deed, an added bonus. All was going according

Park and met a lovely lady. His heart was pounding but refused to talk to her until his pubic hair was as perfect as the wig as Trump. He bit his lip and carried on with his day.