they put the roast beef in them. They ate all the roast beef the Arbys in Cucacamonga had on hand. The moles became bloated with the meat, lethargic. Unable to bust the drug ring.

remove the lines painted in the center of the road. God went silent the moment the cops showed up to investigate the nude woman who was trying to lick out the pavement markings.

ways..." "7," Kevin's voice came up through the vent. "You didn't do anything," Velma yelled back at him. "I stayed quiet." He had her. "Ok. 7. Less than $3 each. Not smelling it.

a secret grudge against her, fearing her further wet wrath. One does not openly rage against a godess. Jaime huddled miserably in her houseboat as it rocked upon Durga's tears, and

Peter stared down at all those bullets that his buttcheek had collapsed, lying like quarters spent all over the pavement. His arse was sore, but at least Gramps was still alive.

feinted to the darkside but Adam West Batman danced the Batdance and I felt like Alice's Vic Tayback in a Quinn Martin Production. I reached for my Remington Steele but he was out.

another star brand on the arm. Jimmy was a smart boy, so the teacher was running out of unbranded skin on this arm. She thought about what Jimmy had said about Abraham Lincoln as s

fix my fucking desktop, but the recovery drive didn't work. I could tell the computer to boot to it, but then it'd just stay blank. "Maybe I can just cut myself," I thought aloud.

-d through the classroom wall, killing the Civics teacher. A soldier opened the hatch and exclaimed, "I was unclear as to my role in society!", which pardoned him from the murder

put that one down as another 2 souls lost to the Godkiller, mistletoe. Nurse Babs left behind two rookie nurses who fainted when taking pinprick samples. Notch up 3 more for their

This cleared the room quickly, and with the GPS app working, we were able to navigate our way to the door and onto the cargo plane. Holding a can of beans to the pilot's head, we

-s lips and began making a motor sound. Pappy got up and chugged around the yard and Sister Girl done 'bout wet her pants a-laughing. Mama said that was enough, there was work to

under the impression that their annual trip around the world was still a go. Passengers watched in awe as the mighty reindeer pulled the wrecked sleigh and their plane up into the

The lemons quickly averted their eyes, terrified. His tyranny was well known around the produce department. Once he scared a watermelon so bad it spit out it's own seeds, just by

spaghetti sauce, and the Rice a Roni alarm clock won’t stop until you bake it. Let’s just hope the water powered smoke alarm doesn’t go off with sprinkles again.

Sarah Lee Mock Humble Pie. He finally admitted that he was dying to try it but didn’t think he could stomach mocking humble. Which is why he wanted me to get mocked first. Sounds

making Macklemore-flavored macarons. Jonah (not quite his real name) cried foul. Jeenah (soon to be his real name) guffawed and high-fived the judges.

beverages down his gullet as he undulated to a tune that only he could hear. "Oh crap," howled one of the cats, "Chaney is toasted again. We must restore order!" So the five cats

and possibly some strong government allies. But now penniless and a nobody, I hopped the rear door of a hoverbus and watched as the streets of the future sped dizzyingly by in a

but at the end of the day it was my signature on the compact that was needed. You haven't yet proved yourself sufficiently worthy of such a miracle, eh." Larew glared harder. Fat