"Which is infinity plus one, in ordinal terms known as omega, number of days." the judge ordered. "Ah, then there is no incentive not to escape, no?" "No one can escape the dungeon

the parrot! Every time I repeated under my breath, "Mittens is the dog, Rover is the cat," the damned parrot would sing "ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall" just to

complete my ensemble for the next inaugural ball: a bewitching cocktail bra! But where to find one, now that it's no longer 1965? The answer was simple: I would go back in time.

wore new underwear for these things. He felt that coming in with skidmarks already in his underwear wasn't in the spirit of the competition. Benny knew some firefighters disagreed.

mentality of the current herd in power. They lacked the perspective to see they themselves were the very thing they detested. Seething with ennui, Emily brought her axe to work.

but stranger still was when I realized that I could not awake from my synaesthetic dream. I begged the trees for help, but they just stood there, whistling Barry Manilow tunes.

over the car’s upholstery and floor mats. “I’m gonna charge you extra for that Jackson Pollock’s art you just did!” The driver angrily muttered as he drove me to my house. He

soothed by the creature's words, but unnerved by its appearance. Snakes kept slithering from its mouth, along with its conversation, but I tried to maintain a grip on my emotions.

" Clearly Colonel Pigstem had gone completely mad. Jenny the maid edged herself toward the door, nodding at him all the way, in an encouraging manner. If she could just phone the

As far as I am concerned it can stay on ice for another 126 months. I wish I was on ice myself. Homeword bound on a slow moving cargo ship out of Pluto. I hear they have air again.

about all of those equations their positronic brains never got to solve, all those networks they never got to hack. They would be immortal, but forever trapped in a tiny box on a

"Mmmm, dark chocolate," she said, her face flushed. Then she smoothed over the chocolate "hair" where she had taken the chunk from his head. Then Madge & her badge dodged the fudge

I wore out the casting couch. Did I want to be a star or a nobody? My body was my temple, but it was also my meal ticket. Directors knew me biblically. Like the Praying Mantis,

Obama shaking his shoulders, shuddering. Shin's face took on a fuchsia hue and began to spew all over the shag rug underfoot. Not the one draped over the Ottoman Ambassador. "Burqa

with a distinct foot cheese scent that was tastier then the sad flat little hash puppies at the Stand-up Diner's Open griddle night. Anyway what can you expect from Dane as Cook?

waved excitedly at their carnival friends. Gary & Gary loved to ride the ferris wheel for hours on end with binoculars, enjoying the sights of the fair. Barney was bleeding out.

Dooley and his word was "unspellable". "Could you use it in a sentence please," Dooley asked. "Yes. The name of God was unspellable."" "That's what you think," thought Chaz. Dooley

found Gangsta’s Paradise. Thumping and pounding, grunting and grinding to the bass and bongos, searching for his Zomgirlfriend, Zomboyfriend turned into Zomhorndog. He was stiff

along about this “God and Ark thing.” Noah refused to admit he had a drinking problem even when told he was seeing double and had really only gathered one of each animal. Mrs. Noah

a scarab flew through the window and landed on George's nose. I was in midswing when it happened. I had to fight my fist's momentum to stop from smashing the scarab into his face.