under the impression that their annual trip around the world was still a go. Passengers watched in awe as the mighty reindeer pulled the wrecked sleigh and their plane up into the

The lemons quickly averted their eyes, terrified. His tyranny was well known around the produce department. Once he scared a watermelon so bad it spit out it's own seeds, just by

spaghetti sauce, and the Rice a Roni alarm clock won’t stop until you bake it. Let’s just hope the water powered smoke alarm doesn’t go off with sprinkles again.

Sarah Lee Mock Humble Pie. He finally admitted that he was dying to try it but didn’t think he could stomach mocking humble. Which is why he wanted me to get mocked first. Sounds

making Macklemore-flavored macarons. Jonah (not quite his real name) cried foul. Jeenah (soon to be his real name) guffawed and high-fived the judges.

beverages down his gullet as he undulated to a tune that only he could hear. "Oh crap," howled one of the cats, "Chaney is toasted again. We must restore order!" So the five cats

and possibly some strong government allies. But now penniless and a nobody, I hopped the rear door of a hoverbus and watched as the streets of the future sped dizzyingly by in a

but at the end of the day it was my signature on the compact that was needed. You haven't yet proved yourself sufficiently worthy of such a miracle, eh." Larew glared harder. Fat

"Which is infinity plus one, in ordinal terms known as omega, number of days." the judge ordered. "Ah, then there is no incentive not to escape, no?" "No one can escape the dungeon

the parrot! Every time I repeated under my breath, "Mittens is the dog, Rover is the cat," the damned parrot would sing "ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall" just to

complete my ensemble for the next inaugural ball: a bewitching cocktail bra! But where to find one, now that it's no longer 1965? The answer was simple: I would go back in time.

wore new underwear for these things. He felt that coming in with skidmarks already in his underwear wasn't in the spirit of the competition. Benny knew some firefighters disagreed.

mentality of the current herd in power. They lacked the perspective to see they themselves were the very thing they detested. Seething with ennui, Emily brought her axe to work.

but stranger still was when I realized that I could not awake from my synaesthetic dream. I begged the trees for help, but they just stood there, whistling Barry Manilow tunes.

over the car’s upholstery and floor mats. “I’m gonna charge you extra for that Jackson Pollock’s art you just did!” The driver angrily muttered as he drove me to my house. He

soothed by the creature's words, but unnerved by its appearance. Snakes kept slithering from its mouth, along with its conversation, but I tried to maintain a grip on my emotions.

" Clearly Colonel Pigstem had gone completely mad. Jenny the maid edged herself toward the door, nodding at him all the way, in an encouraging manner. If she could just phone the

As far as I am concerned it can stay on ice for another 126 months. I wish I was on ice myself. Homeword bound on a slow moving cargo ship out of Pluto. I hear they have air again.

about all of those equations their positronic brains never got to solve, all those networks they never got to hack. They would be immortal, but forever trapped in a tiny box on a

"Mmmm, dark chocolate," she said, her face flushed. Then she smoothed over the chocolate "hair" where she had taken the chunk from his head. Then Madge & her badge dodged the fudge