for the beachcombers but a source of added nutrients for the denizens of the quick sand they suddenly found themselves in. The resulting quick sand ecology is a cosmopolitan oasis.

"You know what they say about angry unicorns, don't you?" "No, can't say that I've ever heard anything about an angry unicorn." "Wanna know why?" "Sure." "Because nobody survives."

Sadly looking down at her feet, she scuffed her feet and resigned herself to her fate. Tears still staining her face she looked up resolute. “Fine. I will take care of myself.”

moonlight across the garden. She was impressed. She had her doubts about the drug addict that had sold her these magic moon beans for a dollar, but they turned out to be beautiful.

By the time he came to his senses his nuts were swelling out of his chaps. She was gone with the kids. His swollen nuts had gone viral. He was fighting off offers from Tosh & Ellen

His mother's head whipped around to give her a wobbly look. Brandy, didn't think the wobbly part was intentional. "Who ARrr you tshalking 2 and who you lush calling, arghh!" Last

"Yes," Professor Plum deflated to admit. Then he harumphed, getting back into his role as Col. Mustard. "Scarlet, you caused a mess with this, this, mess. I intend to have you in

weather friend only. Well, if Col. Danders needed fowl weather to be helpful then fowl weather he shall have. "Mitch, you used to date an Amazonian butterfly didn't you?" The plan

the frustration and redemption started to blur my eyes. but i knew it was not the right time to retaliate. i needed to play a fool for at least another fortnight.

But what was a sentient mansion with a cellar full of tea to do? He offered some to them, and as he expected, the cops weren't pleased. But he didn't expect them to pull their guns

The Magician WOULD speak if his stupid friend stopped writing in ALL CAPS & in incomplete run-on sentences. Unless someone leaks who was rude to his Grandma, this feud ends now!

brain in a spot where they couldn't risk removing me, and so I became a part of you, setting up metal detectors at inopportune moments. You know that an entity of my caliber

bloody murder, and drop the searing hot pan on your foot. Shout at whoever's closest to call an ambulance for you as you mop the boiling goo off your lower legs.

Doris curled her upper lip and chins. It was a Montenegro Stand-off. Neither party was from Montenegro. So they had to stand off to the side until Customs saw to them. Doris wasn't

a pirate parrot, a mutant and a mutineer. Barbara was about to continue speaking, but I snapped, "SHUT UP!" at her. "You weren't even INVITED to the turtle party, Barbara!".

wears hot pink short shorts and everyone needs to get drunk off their asses to forget!" Not a very catchy slogan, but one that's so amusingly memorable it was worth it.

They were in too deep, and without anything to bail them out they resorted to their primal instincts. They curled up into a little ball on the cold stone altar, and cried.

ecome a stalemate, if not for the fact that the fight evolved in something barely comprehensible. I would go on with my life, and they would follow me on guard, waiting for my next

nanites appeared over Yokel's head. They swarmed him, making him invisible for a moment, when he emerged he was His Glorious Supreme Burrito, now drivers would shake their

"Oh..." they added. "And NOT on your head!" I grimaced at their bad joke at my expense. I wanted to say, "Yeah, well - if you and Dad had used a condom -" but then I thought itthru