Bobby had a timetable worked out for when he took over dominion of the dark side. Cthulhu & the other Old Ones had let the survivors turn the world against them while they slept.

ripped the outhouse off its feet, and the ferocious high-speed projectile Booboo spawned was enough to ignite the fuel to the speeding car, which resulted in another explosion. "Uh

"Well, I think it comes down to how much of a bitch you want to come off as on your first day at a new job," her stylist suggested over Magnum bars. She poured ouzo from another mo

n enormous amount of bitcoin; enough for Dr. Goodfeel to take Nurse Ratched for a ride on his hobbyhorse, get her to invest in Poxagone, give the Poxariffic some free advertising.

proper acting technique?!" thundered Scorsese at the cowering shark,"We don't pay you to chat the actors up, we pay you to CHEW them up!" The chastened shark bared its teeth at me

the Royal Canadian Mounties arrested me for being drunk and disorderly; when, in fact, I had forced a Siamese cat on Burton Cummings, at gun point. The ASPCA Officers cuffed me and

She walked into the pitch meeting with Solange the puppet Orange. The suits at Tropicana were cool to the idea. She got flustered. She was losing them. Then Solange spoke up. Heads

and it was a perilous state to be in, yet she found herself laughing, throwing her arms in the air. Fern stared at Julia, knowing what little care she had was lost to the winds.

...Maybe? Another look at the scattered archives might’ve sparked a few thoughts — perhaps ‘Janitor Fists Boss Until Prolapse’ had some sort of artistic or intellectual merit

The goat planet was dominated by the technologically advanced Nan civilization who had been on the cusp of space travel when the monkeys in spaceships appeared in orbit above them.

scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She

He then engaged the four grannies in a laborious flashback to his time panning for ice in the Martian boonies. Then he was hit by a golf cart going at 2 kph. WHY ARE YOU MEOWING

wearing I bought at Goodwill for $1. But after we fumigate it and wash it we'll have it on the sales floor with a Mashall's price of $11.99." St. Pooter wasn"t impressed. "Dollar

could easily contact me after the smog and rain clears in forty-five years, or so. In the meantime, I’ll dream about the Satellite of Love; every night, I’ll pray for its return.

What was important was that Glint Westrock was dead. He'd been poisoned by the future. Det. Manatee could see future residue on Glint's lips. "The question is did he die now or in

om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight

not without a hint of snideness. He gestured at the children at play. "Perhaps my tune is more to the liking of yon children. I tire of always being alone with the rats." He blew

The Land of Goshen wasn't all its brochure cracked it up to be. It's hard to take any sort of writing service seriously if they use a sans serif font. Eileen was leader of Goshen,