both of them ignoring the scent of a dead skunk I left in the radiator last Yom Kippur. Even Dairy Queen won't take their drive-thru order now.

before anyone could see her and exclaim, "There she is, the baby witch who slaughters mountain goats with her visage!" But then she realized that someone WAS shouting that, and she

slightest perturbed by Nyarlathotep. We all pointed and laughed at him. One guy quipped, "He wanted to reject Cthulhu, but said, '$20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20!'"

and making lewd remarks at passersby. "However," he went on, "Guildenstern knows a fire escape with a hidden entrance to heaven behind some loose bricks. Ask him to show you."

that! Rookie mistake. The adversaries locked eyes, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. The cheat was first to break eye contact, gazing at his board, feigning focus.

obtuse hypotenuse overused rhombus boozers with protracted compass disease. They tended to go around in circles, parallel to the ground but perpendicular to each other's

g at the armpit. Grandma knew this would distract me long enough to pull out her knitting needles and plunge them in to my eyes. I went wailing backwards. The Looney Bin truck was

essment of me is harsh and way out of line. Nor is this the right time time for it considering where we are." I pointed out the eyes of the Watchers & their hungry mouths. The look

not before (<Larissa's napkin from lunch that day.>) the (<Kilroy Murpheson was a piano tuner who died of pig stomach.>). Pyle looked at Sneaky Pete and blew him a kiss. Kidney's

to Heaven since a pleasant shaft of light beamed down from on high. But Annabelle knew it may be one of the devil doll’s tricks, so she proceeded up the steps cautiously. When she

and threw the tube across the bloody hot desert. He then performed a backflip, put his arms out in the shape of a "T," and raised to the heavens and returned to the palace of gods.

, Southern, Eastern or Western, nobody was safe from the Falkland drums. Wherever you went, the drums followed you. Thump. Thump. Thump. Only the volunteer punks could withstand

a very long journey indeed. As we neared Cleveland, the rest of the passengers became antsy. "Stop playing that accordion, it's 4 in the morning!" an angry Octomom bellowed as he

out like a big poofer. Somehow the Godfather's instruction to have fun with his new crocodile feet was part of the wish. The Godfather had overplayed himself. Crocodile feet & fun

Taking Mike's ear in my thumb and forefinger I began to caress it gently. Mike's resident Jelly Fish opened

A dead Head of Security's gonads in my hands said I had bigger problems than just Gozar. The only one that Gozar had had any respect for had been Zuul. It was time to give her a ch

in my "Preserved Rodents of the World" exhibit, which I had made from an old, illegal lemonade stand. "Just $5 to view the most colossal collection of dead vermin ever compiled," I

those cleats off my softwood parquet floor!" The football team pulled off their shoes and tossed them out through the Tiffany window, but continued to advance on Dad. "All we want

prefers non-verbal equines." "But Lazurus," answered Prince Lvov, "You know how Empress Catherine adores celebrities, and Mr. Ed is a TV star." "What's TV?" LaRue shot back. Just

tore open it's underbritches with a thunderous fannyclapper. All eyes snapped over to the offending cloud. Pluto laughed first, then Triton, and pretty soon the whole congregation