As far as I am concerned it can stay on ice for another 126 months. I wish I was on ice myself. Homeword bound on a slow moving cargo ship out of Pluto. I hear they have air again.

True, I had dated other female carrots before, but my heart was no longer in it. And I had a pigeon in my stomach. I was not sure of the pigeon's sexual preferences, but by now, it

the venting apparatus". The venting apparatus was some asbestos removal equipment that had been in the barn when they bought the farm. Nora Gene set it up to clear Grandpa's farts.

but stranger still was when I realized that I could not awake from my synaesthetic dream. I begged the trees for help, but they just stood there, whistling Barry Manilow tunes.

the parrot! Every time I repeated under my breath, "Mittens is the dog, Rover is the cat," the damned parrot would sing "ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall" just to

wore new underwear for these things. He felt that coming in with skidmarks already in his underwear wasn't in the spirit of the competition. Benny knew some firefighters disagreed.

find him as a suggestion on her Tindr page." She looked back at him with that faux-innocent, mousy expression behind her spectacles, but dammit, he was serious this time. "No more

, but at what cost to Punpun and all the others locked in the backward prison of its pages? Is there a Manga character out there who has escaped into the real world, only to find

, rivalled only by a lack of discipline, & her penchant for dancing the Watusi in the nude, made me confident I would score, but the game was young, & I was yet to reach 1st base.

So that night I stole into the City of Giant Women and waved magnets over their keyboards, hope to de-res their machines. It didn't work, and only angered them. Griselda the Elder

Suddenly the Horned One busted through the pearly gates with a spray of bullets, and lead the rest of the damned proudly into the halls, where they shat upon the golden tiles and

take Ug’s fat gut and place it on donk. All caveman like woman with big round donk,” Nurg smiled a three-tooth grin, but Ug was offended, “Ug no like donks. Ug like nunga nungas.”

over the car’s upholstery and floor mats. “I’m gonna charge you extra for that Jackson Pollock’s art you just did!” The driver angrily muttered as he drove me to my house. He

come we can't get room service in this dump?" whinged the ghosts. "Because the waffles drop right through you and we have to call the janitor in!" thundered the hotel manager.

"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't

into the septic tank at the Iced Tea Car Shield corporate headquarters. Suffice it to say, Iced Tea was really upset when he heard the rock banshee getting it on with Coco Austin

"Mmmm, dark chocolate," she said, her face flushed. Then she smoothed over the chocolate "hair" where she had taken the chunk from his head. Then Madge & her badge dodged the fudge

Ariadne the Lesser Gorgon's favorite dish for a while. But I didn't care. She wasn't a full Gorgon so she couldn't turn me to stone with her glare. She hated to be reminded of it.

counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She

five people that were doing the show with him froze when they realized about Charles vital status. But the show must go on, so they tossed his body to the air, improvising a number