Anthropoligists clique had pasted their manifesto on the wall. They used shit from all 43 of them. A great many Mensa members found their arguments persuasive as well as fragrant.

for Paris what pig wrestling was for Hazzard County. These flame dancers even had their own Duke boys. They were both real dukes. Duke Luke and Duke Beau had met in Ibiza snorkling

Even so, I have never been able to get a human to accept my marriage proposal, and believe me, I have asked every one I have seen with my raging primate eyes. So I fly over their

"Shut up and get in the pie!" the robin screamed to the worms. "Margaret, Margaret!" cried the bluejay. "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhh!" The robin grabbed the rolling pin like it was a cudgel.

child again, and as equally clueless as to whom the father was, as ever. But I had an inkling that it must have been an artists, since we all had sketchbooks full of intricate

fridge. It kept the stench of decomposing meat restricted to one room of the house, at least. "Ah, Julia," her father sighed, "you should never have dived into an empty pool."

a scarab flew through the window and landed on George's nose. I was in midswing when it happened. I had to fight my fist's momentum to stop from smashing the scarab into his face.

"Thanks" the taxi driver said "I mean it's yellow, like every other cab in New York" he continued, clearly unsettled by my flirtations. Time to take a more direct approach. I

And he said "Well, shucky darn!" And it got infected and he died. So much for that bulking up he just did. Oh well. So up in heaven, St. Peter said to him,

your firstborn in today, you'll get another bonus CD, from pop sensation Therena Malp! Don't miss this once in a lifetime deal. Turn off the TV, walk 40 paces left, then chant this

Head in Assery Achievement Award, the most minor award this nation can bestow on people without money or influence. Its winners often find themselves raised to the highest offices.

cats never do. He extended a paw; I passed over the 'nip. No further communication was necessary. Done deal. I awoke the next

made a disturbing humming sound which, to his shock, the androgynous individual mimicked. A fatal mistake. The Gaze was now upon two-lips, and Tiny Tim could only watch in horror

and dosed the flames with the fuel. Those with the pumped up kicks danced while singing the Animaniacs countries song.

other 2 penguins, who were less fierce than the fiercest penguin, shook their heads. “He can’t even bed the damn wooden penguin, but we have to coddle his ass?” the clever penguin

-koo cucumber? Vegepeople like you give me gas. You're seedy. And thin-skinned! Why, I ought to slice you into wedges, except I do like the way you dip. You're in a pickle, my

rupture in spacetime that I could investigate? Which dimension would it send me to? The evil grocer would of course want me to stay, but if I were to just reach into that void,

along about this “God and Ark thing.” Noah refused to admit he had a drinking problem even when told he was seeing double and had really only gathered one of each animal. Mrs. Noah

lubricated the doohickey. He plugged the thingamajigger up the how's-your-father and squeezed so the whatchamacallits flexed outward. He needed this after the week he'd had.

And that was why Gerald decided to become an ice guy instead. But a leopard can't change its stripes, and he ended up just fighting criminals instead of being evil. Evil sucked.