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So that night I stole into the City of Giant Women and waved magnets over their keyboards, hope to de-res their machines. It didn't work, and only angered them. Griselda the Elder
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Suddenly the Horned One busted through the pearly gates with a spray of bullets, and lead the rest of the damned proudly into the halls, where they shat upon the golden tiles and
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take Ug’s fat gut and place it on donk. All caveman like woman with big round donk,” Nurg smiled a three-tooth grin, but Ug was offended, “Ug no like donks. Ug like nunga nungas.”
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like an Xrvian slave girl inhaling an entire box of perfectly good Bodega caffeine pods through an opening in her elbow, but turned out to be a Valerian policewoman looking for the
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come we can't get room service in this dump?" whinged the ghosts. "Because the waffles drop right through you and we have to call the janitor in!" thundered the hotel manager.
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finishing school where they were polished, sometimes spit shined where it was appropriate and always in the presence of two or more Jesters. Turmoil erupted when a buffoon tried to
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"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't
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into the septic tank at the Iced Tea Car Shield corporate headquarters. Suffice it to say, Iced Tea was really upset when he heard the rock banshee getting it on with Coco Austin
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your firstborn in today, you'll get another bonus CD, from pop sensation Therena Malp! Don't miss this once in a lifetime deal. Turn off the TV, walk 40 paces left, then chant this
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Ariadne the Lesser Gorgon's favorite dish for a while. But I didn't care. She wasn't a full Gorgon so she couldn't turn me to stone with her glare. She hated to be reminded of it.
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counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She
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Trying to get rid of these tough and unanswerable questions, I turned into a bat and started flying towards the moon, recreating that scene from E.T. Maybe I am out of this planet,
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Obama shaking his shoulders, shuddering. Shin's face took on a fuchsia hue and began to spew all over the shag rug underfoot. Not the one draped over the Ottoman Ambassador. "Burqa
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about all of those equations their positronic brains never got to solve, all those networks they never got to hack. They would be immortal, but forever trapped in a tiny box on a
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That kept Pseudo-Casey Jones busy while I hurried back to the car wash where his car was. "No, no, no!" I cried. "I said power wash his car! Not powerbottom wash his car!"
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been asleep for some time. I was also experiencing another loss of urine, so I called up my doctor about it and asked if it was safe to deposit it into the toilet bowl.
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Anthropoligists clique had pasted their manifesto on the wall. They used shit from all 43 of them. A great many Mensa members found their arguments persuasive as well as fragrant.
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"Yes, you did. And I happen to be an owl," said the windshield cleaner as he climbed into the passenger side and demanded $25. The man stared at his open talon and gave him the
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Then the grim specter of AIDS poked its face out from the crevice and I noped the fuck out of there. No way was I gonna sparkle like a vampire from drinking her period blood.
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It was so distracting I forgot to towel off, and wandered into the lobby of the building looking for further refreshment. A walrus dressed as a cop apprehended me, even though it