lubricated the doohickey. He plugged the thingamajigger up the how's-your-father and squeezed so the whatchamacallits flexed outward. He needed this after the week he'd had.

him, but Bruno's alcohol-induced coma and spouting of eldritch beings left him dead as a doorknob to the world. Peggy shook him more, but just then, the Ravers returned! After 20

"Yes Dear?" Sue asked. "You're hugging him again! Let the poor fellow go, he's clearly uncomfortable. How are we going to make enough money to buy back the rest of him?"

rigged them so entering a PIN administered pre-measured doses of Ex-Lax to the monkeys, causing a commensurate number of bills to spray from their butts. These Simian ATMs revoluti

in mind a mahogany hutch but Mag's modest end table behind wasn't a non-starter. End tables had their uses.When in Rome. So he took her to his apartment. Which he shared with him m

rupture in spacetime that I could investigate? Which dimension would it send me to? The evil grocer would of course want me to stay, but if I were to just reach into that void,

The crowd gasped. No one ever questioned the Genie, the supreme know-it-all. The Genie grew to massive size and pointed his finger at the questioner. “Dog! Prepare to receive your

stayed there forever, part of his mind did, anyway, and made brothy love to Souperwoman in their little cauldron in the sky. When Andy was at work in this world, in the other world

other 2 penguins, who were less fierce than the fiercest penguin, shook their heads. “He can’t even bed the damn wooden penguin, but we have to coddle his ass?” the clever penguin

"When the tornado hit," I recounted "I was able to survive by getting into my Fiat 500 and driving." Most people found it hard to believe but I didn't want to out drive the tornado

newspaper. Something was peculiar (as he'd say, "perculiar"). For some reason, Dr. Ruth had answered all nine letters today with "Put a gun to your head; it's the only solution."

"Sorry about that, sir. I was just practicing and you seemed to sneak through out of nowhere. As for the object of your pursuit: I happen to know her, and you are unlikely to find

lost the case. "Too bad she didn't lose a pound!" the producer laughed. His lackeys laughed too. They rolled the 601-pound woman down the courthouse steps to the press' applause.

remove the lines painted in the center of the road. God went silent the moment the cops showed up to investigate the nude woman who was trying to lick out the pavement markings.

, unknowingly opening a tiny gap through which passed approximately 3 million bacteria directly from Mrs. Johnson's infected esophagus into my perfectly welcoming nasal passage.

It was true, I had only seen the virus once. Every other time, either it had blinded me, or it was too small to see. Either way, I decided I wouldn't stop until I had eradicated

the gas station, as distracted as he was with his performance anxiety, and had poured gas all down the side of his Ferrari. "Oh for the luvva," sobbed Señor Casanova, "The women

ways..." "7," Kevin's voice came up through the vent. "You didn't do anything," Velma yelled back at him. "I stayed quiet." He had her. "Ok. 7. Less than $3 each. Not smelling it.

He needs that as a supplement to his recovery. He may heal faster if he has her love.

anordyslexia where they only screwed up spelling short words. The Hulk's babies needed to be stopped, and how else do you stop babies than with a giant spike press? Tell me a more