in mind a mahogany hutch but Mag's modest end table behind wasn't a non-starter. End tables had their uses.When in Rome. So he took her to his apartment. Which he shared with him m

cks up his sleeve that would make a Scientologist froth at the mouth. Simpkins grew a goatee and a German accent. He bleated just to add flavor to the character. "SIIIMPKIIINS!"

finishing school where they were polished, sometimes spit shined where it was appropriate and always in the presence of two or more Jesters. Turmoil erupted when a buffoon tried to

like an Xrvian slave girl inhaling an entire box of perfectly good Bodega caffeine pods through an opening in her elbow, but turned out to be a Valerian policewoman looking for the

Anthropoligists clique had pasted their manifesto on the wall. They used shit from all 43 of them. A great many Mensa members found their arguments persuasive as well as fragrant.

Mrs. Beadangus continued to glare. " I don't care how old he is, you need to get the boy help!" Mrs Beadangus was clearly in another one of her moods. Just the other day she had

general contractors were almost on par for a headache. Tiny Terry saw how women had this awesome power & why the patriarchy was hell bent on pushing this shit through. His children

o I was first. I guess I would find out on the road. I hear the road has many things to teach if you let it. People often forget that some lessons are going to hurt. That letch at

Of course, his job concealed this fact which he often exclaimed loudly during math classes at the private girls' school where he worked. Convenient.

fridge. It kept the stench of decomposing meat restricted to one room of the house, at least. "Ah, Julia," her father sighed, "you should never have dived into an empty pool."

cats never do. He extended a paw; I passed over the 'nip. No further communication was necessary. Done deal. I awoke the next

Head in Assery Achievement Award, the most minor award this nation can bestow on people without money or influence. Its winners often find themselves raised to the highest offices.

thong in the shape of a V! I should be blessed, I would have guessed, Krishna would no longer call me a pest. Swiveling my hips, pouting my lips, Krishna would soon take me into

And sensing my anxiety, the heroine came straight for me. "Please, good sir, won't you join me on stage?" I couldn't say no, so I nervously followed her, my tidy whities

and dosed the flames with the fuel. Those with the pumped up kicks danced while singing the Animaniacs countries song.

And he said "Well, shucky darn!" And it got infected and he died. So much for that bulking up he just did. Oh well. So up in heaven, St. Peter said to him,

-koo cucumber? Vegepeople like you give me gas. You're seedy. And thin-skinned! Why, I ought to slice you into wedges, except I do like the way you dip. You're in a pickle, my

rupture in spacetime that I could investigate? Which dimension would it send me to? The evil grocer would of course want me to stay, but if I were to just reach into that void,

rigged them so entering a PIN administered pre-measured doses of Ex-Lax to the monkeys, causing a commensurate number of bills to spray from their butts. These Simian ATMs revoluti

"Shut up and get in the pie!" the robin screamed to the worms. "Margaret, Margaret!" cried the bluejay. "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhh!" The robin grabbed the rolling pin like it was a cudgel.